Community Spotlight: February 4, 2011

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Couple not getting along.

This week, we announced the first annual Break Up With Your Ex Day. By Valentine's Day, we want you to be completely broken up with your ex and ready to find new love. And if you're already there, maybe you have some sage advice for YourTango user Felina. She's on the mend from a painful breakup, but her ex-boyfriend doesn't want to cut ties. Instead of posting a question to Ask YourTango, she made a statement: "I don't feel like staying friends."

Put that on a t-shirt, girl, and wear it proud!

Who says two people who used to be in love owe each other some sort of post-breakup companionship? Coudn't that make it even harder to move on?

Or maybe it just depends on how and why the relationship ended?

The community stepped in with a lot of great advice. We especially appreciated the male point of view offered by bubbadave:

"Being a man, there are times when I don't understand what my fellow guys are thinking. It sounds to me like you and he had a good thing going, and he couldn't handle it emotionally. It's difficult to go from lovers to friends. Most folks either can't or don't want to make that transition. I would think the only thing you can do is continue to be respectful or pleasant to him when you and he meet, but don't lead him on in any way. If he suggests you get together, explain that you really don't want to see him and the reason you explained in your note. Eventually, he will get the message and go away. If you begin to have trouble with him as a stalker, go to the police and get the legal help you deserve and need."

So there you go. Practical advice. Keep moving on, Felina.

We also related to this Ask YourTango question from pinkie43. She's concerned about her boyfriend's friendship with another woman. A mutual friend recently revealed that they're in contact pretty frequently. Should she be worried?

"He said it's not a big deal, and he doesn't have feelings for her, but I think he does. Or why would he hide it? I don't want him to stay with me out of some kind of obligation or pity or guilt. And I don't want him developing a close friendship with this female that he has already hidden from me, because I know that things like this can turn into something much more. Now when he goes off to work, I will always wonder if she is with him, are they meeting up? And is he telling me everything? He acts normal at home, pays attention to me, and we spend time together like a normal couple, but is he just covering his tracks?"

Does pinkie43 need to trust her man and stop overthinking things, or should she do some investigating?

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