Marriage is a trap. Stay out or get stuck.
By Winston Wu (Founder of HappierAbroad.com)
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Society says you are incomplete until you're married. It is part of our social programming. Your parents are expecting you to get married, to follow on with their tradition and give them grandchildren. Your friends are all getting married too, leaving you left out. So, if everyone is doing it, doesn't that mean it must be right? Are there any reasons not to marry?
You bet! Many good ones. There are many disadvantages, risks and opportunity costs that come with marriage. But society will never tell you about them, because society is not there to give you truth or freedom. It is there to CONTROL you and make you a conformist. But I am not. I am here to tell you the truth and give you the other side to consider.
And no, just because everyone is doing something doesn't mean it must be right. As my school teachers always said, "If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?" And Gandhi said, "Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth." In other words, everyone doing something has no effect on the truth. The truth is, there is no one thing that's right for everyone. And society does not tell you the consequences of what it expects of you.
So before you get married, understand what you are getting into. Here are the many disadvantages, risks and opportunity costs that come with marriage which you may not have yet considered.
1. You might regret it.
Believe it or not, you don't really know your partner. You may know his/her surface personality, but not their real self or innermost thoughts and feelings. Later down the line, they may change and you may too. You might grow apart. You might become incompatible. What then? Are you going to stay together and be miserable just because of an artificial marriage vow to stay together "til death do you part"?
What if your spouse becomes a monster? What if you no longer love him or her? What if you love someone else? You can't know what's going to happen down the line, so why make unrealistic promises? That is foolish and unwise. It is also dishonest in a sense too.
Furthermore, you may also regret it for the next reasons mentioned below as well.
2. It will kill your sex life.
Most people about to marry never consider this, but marriage kills your sex life. After a few months, the sex will no longer be interesting. It will become a routine. And the longer the marriage goes, the less sex the couple will have. After a number of years, it will eventually be reduced to little or nothing. In fact, it is not uncommon for long-time married couples to only have sex once a year, or never even! So you gotta ask yourself, if sex is important, why kill it off?! By doing so, you've shot yourself in the foot - all because society told you to. Now how do you like that?
3. You can never experience romantic or sexual variety again without breaking your vows.
Guys, think about this: There are millions of attractive women out there. You will never be able to romance them or sleep with them ever again, if you keep your marriage vows that is. Think about it. According to the oath you made, you are supposedly never going to sleep with another attractive female ever again until you die! How do you like that?
Well I don't like it. Why restrict and bind yourself for life like that? Isn't that crazy? Isn't variety the spice of life? Remember that fantasy you've always had about being in a foreign exotic country and having a beautiful woman smile at you and wink? Well if that happens, you won't be able to follow up on it, at least not without being unfaithful. You won't be able to "go with the flow" so to speak due to an artificial bind. How do you like that?
See what happens when you listen to society? Would you swear for life to only eat vanilla ice cream and no other flavors? No. Would you take an oath to only eat fried rice and nothing else? No. So why would you swear to only have one woman forever and never experience any others? It doesn't make sense, and it's unnatural and difficult to keep such an oath. One should not make promises that one can't keep, right? So why do it? Aren't you being dishonest by taking such oaths? Is it right to lie to appease your family and peers?
The grass is always greener on the other side. If you are married to a brunette, you will be lusting after blondes and redheads, because you don't have them and can't have them. If you are married to a blonde, then you will be fantasizing about desirable unattainable brunettes. If you are married to a white woman, you will be lusting after exotic silky feminine oriental women you can never have. If you are married to an oriental lady, you will be lusting after hot white women. Etc. It's inevitable.
When you are married, you can never experience the thrill of the chase again, or love at first sight, or the special moment of a first kiss, not without being unfaithful to your spouse. You are not supposed to experience that electric volt you feel when you touch a beautiful woman for the first time. No more sexual adrenaline rushes for you. Nothing in marriage can replace such things, for marriage does not provide such stimulation. Marriage is nothing but monotonous routine, kept stable just for the children, not for you.
What if you are no longer sexually attracted to your wife? And then this hot young woman who looks like something from your fantasy comes into your life, or becomes your secretary? What are you going to do? Deny that you