10 New Year's Resolutions For Single Women

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10 New Year's Resolutions For Single Women
My single-girl New Year's resolutions for a happier dating life.

My single-girl New Year's resolutions.

1) I will go an entire first date without mentioning a single ex-boyfriend.

Not the ones I'm friends with. Not the most recent one who broke up with me after my dad was diagnosed with melanoma. Especially not the old guy who is kinda famous.

2) I will go an entire fourth date without asking him about his ex-girlfriends.

Not the one also named Amanda who has a trust fund. Not the most recent one who left him because he didn't want to move in together. Especially not the one who is kinda famous on Twitter.

3) I will not cry on at least the first three dates.

Which is to say, I won't see a dramatic or particularly well-done movie or play for at least the first three dates. Or go out with a psychiatrist.

4) I will go down on him without ever making that involuntary grimace.

Okay, I'll try.

5) I will stop using Facebook to see if ex-boyfriends have died without my love and emotional support.

They haven't. I would've heard about it through our mutual friends on Facebook.

6) I will shave my legs, just in case.

Shave for the relationship you want, not the one you (don't) have.

7) I will not immediately check the height of every guy who messages me on OkCupid.

I hear Ira Glass is 5'5".

8) I will stop following advice that sounds too much like The Rules.

The only games worth playing are probably available as iPhone apps.

Next: Two more not-to-be-overlooked resolutions...

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