As "The Pro Marriage Counselor" I have to tell you: There have been so many pop-articles recently about why men and woman cheat. These articles cite everything from so called “evolutionary psychology” studies to the unqualified opinions of celebrities to the actual North American and European infidelity rates. But just because Kim Kardashian or Ashton Kutcher and others say it, doesn't mean it's true!
These articles do everything from blame a man’s cheating on his biology to saying that men cheat because they get bored fast in relationships or have an inbuilt desire for younger woman. Still others say men cheat because the sex outside of their primary relationship becomes an addiction for them. Adultery: The Secret Behind Why Men Cheat
It’s true, infidelity rates have skyrocketed over the past 40 years despite an equal but opposite increase in strong social attitudes against cheating. Yet the most popular explanations for why infidelity is so rampant simply omits the number 1 science-proven reason men cheat. In doing so, they actually fuel the problem.
It turns out that this top single reason for men’s cheating is exactly the same top single reason that leads over half of all married woman to cheat sexually as well. It’s the same single reason that more than 80% of both men and woman report emotional affairs.
So do you want to know what this number one top source of cheating really is? Ok. It’s "ignorance", plain and simple. The main reason both men and woman have sexual and emotional affairs is because they simply don’t know how harmful these are (realistic motivation) or how to pro-actively prevent them from taking place (planning and doing).
Sure, you can talk about biology and addiction until the cows come home. And it’s true, sexual behaviors can become highly addictive and life-interfering if they’re not properly managed. Pop culture literally banks on that fact.
It’s the same with eating chocolate or drinking wine. They can get way out of hand and seriously harm a person’s life and health. But these excesses, like dysfunctional sexual behaviors (i.e. cheating), are consequences of not understanding and pro-actively preventing the real problems in the first place, not their primary causes!
As far as marital infidelity goes, there’s no question that it can seriously harm a couple or family. The primary reason for this is that it so often leads to separation and divorce. Divorce in turn cuts a family off from what the vast mountain range of strong relationship science has proven are “The Top 34 Incredible Benefits of Marriage”, - for men, woman and children.
This is where the simple ignorance comes in. It turns out that infidelity is harmful in every sense of the word, both emotionally, physically in terms of health and economics. So why do it right?
Unmarried people are usually much poorer financially and suffer from more health problems. In fact , one major recent study clearly links divorce and early death for both men and woman.