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Feeling frustrated that your therapy isn't working? Watch this video to learn what you can do.
You've been seeing a therapist for years, and yet, nothing is changing in your relationship patterns. You've tried practicing the techniques, you've read the books and you've even changed your ways, but nothing seems to make the change in your relationship that you're looking for. Could it be your therapist? Is he or she the wrong person for you? Or is it really something inside of you that needs to be looked at?
It used to be that therapy was seen as the solution to the greatest of life's challenges. People would work on their issues for as long as they could until, "enough was enough" and they gave in and hired a therapist. That is a lot of pressure on both you and your therapist.
Imagine another area of your life where you waited until everything was about to fall apart and that was the moment you sought help. In the medical field it would be called triage; you can't help someone learn to walk again if they're bleeding. You have to stop the bleeding first.
Therapy is a lot like that for many people. Because they wait so long to get help, the therapist has to work on the biggest, bleeding wounds first. It's the only way to get your relationship stable enough to really work on the deep stuff. And by that we mean the real reasons why you're in therapy.
So you ask what to do if your therapy feels like it's not working?
In this video, Relationship Coaches and YourTango Experts Orna and Matthew Walters explain why therapy is only the first step. It's not enough to listen; you have to put the wisdom and expertise into practice.
Bottom line: if you really want to see a difference in your love life, you need to have your actions reflect what you've learned while sitting in your therapist's chair.