In search for my passion

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In search for my passion

  Watching the movie Eat,pray, love the other day finally (yes I know I am a bit late) and even though I thought how is Julia Roberts living large all over the world going to help me better myself I can honestly say that it sort of has. As I sat there watching and realizing that I could relate with her ( yes so did the rest of the world or women who saw it) even though I have never been married and for the most part ok well all of my life I have been alone the one thing that stood out was PASSION. I don't have passion now and I have never really experienced passion. And if I have I must of been asleep because I cant really remember at least not the kind that this movie seems to be talking about. After watching the movie I began questioning why had I not found it or felt it "passion". I realized that my fear of rejection, humiliation and failure seem to come to mind. And suddenly as if a chain of effects or maybe in my desperate search to find my passion, things start to slowly guide me. First the Oprah magazine entices me into taking the test "Find your passion" I take it and find out that I have a lot of likes but which one is my passion. Second I take another test about "what is holding me back" it turns out that as a child I didn't have enough approval in my life so now I ask and look for it at all time. At first I thought no but then when I asked everyone that would listen what they thought well I sort of answered my question. Turns out I do need approval for everything from what to wear to what career to who to date. I realized that I don't date for me I date for my family and if I know they are not going to approve  then the poor guy doesn't have a chance and meanwhile I continue to be alone.