They say that the road to recovery begins with the first step: acceptance. The funny thing about being in a new relationship after being single for a long period of time is how much it teaches you about yourself and what a bad person you could potentially be. When I was single, one of my favorite stupid and reckless things that I used to enjoy doing to blow off steam was to go to a bar downtown, knock back a few whiskeys and entertain my girl friends by picking a fight with a guy twice my size. I was an incredibly stupid single girl with a bad temper and probably a drinking problem. I stopped drinking as regularly a while ago, but my temper hasn't completely gone away, nor has my love of drunk and disorderly behavior. I would have never realized how badly I need to deal with both if I hadn't started dating someone seriously. 10 Basic Rules For A New Relationship
I'm learning that part of being in a relationship is being able to accept the responsibility you have for the other person's feelings, especially when a fight erupts. I wouldn't say that my boyfriend and I fight. I would say that we are discovering the things about each other that annoy us to the point of distraction. The first time this happened, I exacerbated the situation by acting like a feral cat going into fight or flight mode. The claws came out and I attempted to give him a vicious tongue lashing, followed by a sleepless night, and then an afternoon of vodka and orange juice. I do not recommend this course of action if you are expecting your lover to apologize to you, which is what he would have done had I not gotten so drunk I found myself puking well into the night. I take full responsibility for that one, and believe me, I learned many lessons; the most obvious one being that I'm definitely too old to be drinking that much. 5 Steps To Getting Over The First-Fight Hurdle
Now, instead of saying mean things and getting drunk when these moments come up, I've focused on cooking. My emotional palate looks a lot like the homeland security advisory system. At the more peaceful, non-threatened end of the spectrum, I make a lot of miso soups with seaweed and tofu, or salads with avocados and cucumbers. The other night, the boyfriend and I had a misunderstanding, leading to frustrated feelings, which could have very well resulted in another vodka-induced outburst, but I decided to control myself and headed to my grocery store instead. I was in high alert mode: I needed to eat red. As red as I could possibly get. I bought some blood red beets and wanted to just set them on fire.
- as many beets as you want, sliced 1/4 inch thick
- 4 cloves of garlic, chopped
- drizzle of olive oil