Community: Why Marriage Is Not the End of Freedom


Community: Why Marriage Is Not the End of Freedom

Do single people really have more freedom than their married counterparts?  Many singles firmly believe that they are much freer to do as the please than they would be if they were to tie the knot.  In fact, the fear of losing one’s freedom is the most common excuse that women site on LuvemOrLeavem when they discuss why their long time boyfriends say that they are not ready for marriage.

After pouring over the dating stories that are posted on our site as well as taking a close look at the singles that I know, I've concluded that the type of person that you're involved with is much important to freedom than whether or not you are married.  In fact, I would argue that many people that are dating have less freedom than those who are in solid, trusting marriages.  Here are some of the main reasons why married versus single does not hold the key to how much freedom you have in your relationship.

With Age Comes Responsibility-
Whether you're single or married, as you get older you will take on more responsibility.  I know plenty of people who argue that they have the freedom to hop in the car and head to Vegas for the weekend because they don’t have a spouse waiting at home to tell them that they can't go.  These same people have jobs and other commitments that keep them from being able to just jump in the car and head out of town whenever the mood strikes them.  Of course that little fact often goes unnoticed as they go on and on about all the extra freedom that they have because they are unattached.


It All Depends on Who You're Seeing- When my husband wants to go out with the guys, the conversation is short.  He checks to see if we have plans or if I'm counting on him to pick up the kids. If we don't have prior plans, then he's all set to head out.  I don't ask questions about why he wants to go out, I already know that he needs some guy time and if an emergency crops up I know how to reach him.  Of course if I want to head out with my friends, I also know that after a quick courtesy phone call, I'm all set to go.

Now I know many couples, some married, but most just dating, where this quick conversation develops into a full blown debate.  There are questions about who is going, why they are going and maybe even a guilt trip about why they want alone time with their friends.  Even worse, the kind of person that requires their partner to be granted "permission" to head out without them is often the same person that will maintain constant cell phone contact with their partner while they are out with their friends. How Negativity Affects Your Relationship

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