A new book serves as a guide to indulging that rock star fantasy and dating a musician.
"What kind of boyfriend would Morrissey make? Would Lil' Wayne be a good booty call?"
Such important questions and more are what Erin Bradley (day job: Miss Information over at Nerve.com) attempts to answer in her new book, Every Rose Has Its Thorn: The Rock 'n' Roll Field Guide to Guys. Packed to the brim with playlists, pop quizzes, and other fun stuff, it's an anthropological guide to 10 types of musician dudes and what makes them tick. (And trust us, Erin knows: She's dated a number of them.) A book that takes itself less seriously than the typical "will I ever find my soulmate?" fare, it's actually scarily spot-on about all the types of guys we encounter out there, whether they've ever picked up a guitar or not.
In her words, here are Erin's favorite and least favorite things about dating musicians:
Rocks: The band plays out a lot, so you have weekends to yourself. Sucks:The band plays out a lot, so if your birthday falls on a Friday or Saturday you can forget about having him there for the celebration. Same goes for major holidays and family funerals. No one misses a gig for any reason. The sellout crowd of 15 at Hambone's Bar & Grille of Roanoke, Virginia must not be disappointed.
Rocks: He's creative. Sucks: He's too creative for Swiffering, showing up on time, wearing a collared shirt to a court date, talking about anything other than music even though he's alienating 90 percent of the other people in the room, and/or holding a W2 job. Why Women Can't Resist Rock Stars
And her top three tips for snagging a musician:
1. Make friends with the band girlfriends. It's rare that every guy in the band is dating someone at the same time. They're the gatekeepers. Show them respect, and they'll lead you to the one that's actually single.
2. Be prepared to put in the time. Show up early. A lot of bands will come and watch the opening acts in an attempt to appear grounded and humble. This is a good time to approach them. Don't get too drunk during the show. Alcohol = Sleepyville, and you want to be as alert as possible, especially considering you'll probably have to hang out at least an hour after the last song in order to actually see any of them emerge from the back room.
3. Geek out a bit if you want to. Some groupie Bibles advise you to act completely unimpressed. Bullshit. Band guys see right through that. Telling them you love their music is perfectly OK, but only if you mean it.
And finally, Erin's favorite "types" from the book:
Best band boys:
The Boy with the Thorn in His Side ("Behind the hatred there lies a murderous desire…for love…") His moods range from dark to forlorn, his playlist from "Tainted Love" to "Boys Don't Cry," and he "gets hives instead of a hard-on at the thought of you having a threesome." Ready for a Belle and Sebastian listening marathon? This is the boy for you. "He may be a bit much to handle, mood-wise, but he's got empathy and emotional understanding—two things you can't teach someone," Erin says.
Mr. Roboto. Weird Al before he got a record deal. Buddy Holly. Genius intellectually. Obtuse emotionally. "Most nerds mate for life, like pelicans, so Mr. Roboto is another keeper," Erin advises. The 5 Most Romantic John Hughes Movies
Worst band boys:
Johnny B. Goode. Self-righteous (favorite high school bands: Minor Threat and Fugazi) and super-serious, this guy is "more of a humorless C-SPAN commentator than a boyfriend." But he does make you want to recycle and volunteer more, looks good on paper, and leads you to do good by example. Still, he's annoying. "It's no fun having your hypocrisies and ethical faux pas pointed out all the time, even if you agree with the spirit and the politics," Erin writes.
Mannish Boy. His look: Wrinkled khakis from shift at temp job. Secret pocket for weed, bus fare. Needs a haircut. This guy goes to see every Judd Apatow movie the day it opens, Erin writes, not getting that he's watching a big-screen depiction of his personality flaws. We know way too many of these. If he could just grow the heck up, he'd be the perfect guy. "It's heartbreaking, because he's so perfect otherwise. You never want to dump him."
Tell us readers: do you date creative types? What are the pros and cons?