By Morgan Vines, BounceBack.com Editorial Staff
Will and Grace made it look easy - your boyfriend dumps you for another man, and you just turn your romance into the closest friendship of your life. But everything looks shinier on TV. So how much does it really affect you when your partner dumps you for someone of the same sex?
Sometimes when a relationship breakup is too painful to face, we joke that the muscular heartthrob who dumped us must be gay. Otherwise, how could he resist this? This trick we play on our minds helps to soften the blow, but would it really be easier if he left you for another man?
The subject of the iconic male fantasy, Star Wars’ Princess Leia in the gold bikini, actress Carrie Fisher jokes that she has a superpower that can turn men gay. "It's not called upon very often, but yes, I can turn men gay."
Fisher’s ex, talent agent Bryan Lourd, left her for another man after they had a child together. While the breakup devastated her, the two have moved past it and manage to raise their daughter as friends. So does it make it any easier to deal with or that much more psychologically damning?
Fisher says it’s a lot harder than being left for another woman. “It's different because of how wrong I got it. Most everyone gets abandoned for a younger woman and replaced. Any fool can do that. But this is another kind of fool. When you realize what you've overlooked, it's astonishing.”
Hearing that your partner is actually attracted to the same sex as you are makes you call into question your entire relationship. On top of being left for someone else, you have to deal with the fact that he’s been keeping this monumental secret from you, and every moment you spent together was a lie. It also makes you feel stupid that you were so blind to the hidden desires of the man you thought you knew. And while you can’t “turn” someone gay, you might find yourself questioning your own sex appeal.
On the other hand, anyone who has been left for someone else agonizes over these same doubts. So does it make it any easier knowing that at least there’s no way you could give your partner what he wants? That nothing you did caused the breakup and there’s nothing you can change to fix it? The sudden finality of it allows you to begin to bounce back quicker. There’s no reason to replay the hope that you might one day get back together and let it gnaw at you.