First date conversations can be rough; here are some softballs.
I'm not sure that there is any actual data to support this, but first dates are the most stressful moment in a person's life. It doesn't matter if you like the person or not, it is crucial that they like you. Unless you're one of those types with an unhealthy level of self-esteem, self-awareness and self-love, you have probably felt a crushing amount of anxiety at the prospect that someone wouldn't immediately think you're the cat's PJs*.
The good news is that you've already made enough of a first impression that this person agreed to a date with you (unless it's one of those blind dates and that's an absolute crapshoot even with the best of preparation). Some people say that certain topics are off-limits for first dates and I some merit in that assertion. Which leaves you with doing stuff and small talk as the only the only way to interact.
You may think small talk is just a bunch of petty chit-chat but it need not be an exercise in abject banality. You can learn a decent deal about someone with largely innocuous questions and decide if you're up for sharing more important stuff plus this could give some hints at future gift ideas. Don't be a jerk about it, slide these in there casual-like. And, like any good investigatory journalist remember to infer "why."
"If you were to be trapped in an elevator, who would you like to be with? Present company excluded, of course."
"Do you have siblings? If so, how many and what order were you born?"
"Have you ever been to [insert your favorite travel destination that's not synonymous with prostitution or drugs]?"
"What's your favorite word?"
"What skill [or super power, if you're frisky] that you do not possess would you most like to have?"
"What's your favorite thing about yourself, non-physically**?"
"Would you like another drink?"
In virtually no circumstance should you ask if you sat in some gum and then expose yourself.
*Note: Hooking up then going on a first date seems like decent way to assuage a little discomfort, it's a forcefield.
**Note: Specify non-physical, if I had a nickel for every time I heard "breasts," I would have more money than I do now.
5. It's fine to risk your friends' lives for a boyfriend.
Hey, remember when Ariel almost got her lifelong friend and occasional guardian Sebastian killed so she could dine with a guy who'd never even heard her talk? You do? You need to know that that's never okay.
7. It's acceptable to show up to parties uninvited.
There won't always be enough tea to go around if you keep showing up to parties you're not even invited to attend. And, like Alice, you may find yourself surrounded by lunatics with no respect for themselves, each other or anyone else's property.
When she was a kid, Tiana swore she'd never kiss a frog. She changed her mind. Sure, it worked out in the end, but only after she was transformed into an amphibian and subject to a number of voodoo curses.
13. Having short, dark hair is like, the worst thing ever.
Brunettes are people too. And listen, unless you have a genetic or Ariana Grande-edges issue, your hair will grow back. That's what hair does. If you don't think this is true, remember how you felt the last time you forgot to shave your legs.
Snow White was in a coffin with her eyes closed in a "sleep-like death," and the seven dwarves just let this happen. Like, Doc didn't even side-eye Prince Charming making out with what everyone thought was just a really well-preserved corpse. Why weren't her pals called the Seven Deviants?
You know why Snow White was always happy and encouraged you to "whistle while you work?" Because she wasn't actually working. She got woodland creatures to do all that crap for her. Then, like lots of people in upper management, she took credit for everything once it was done.
16. Your dad will always bail you out of dangerous situations.
Ariel could always rely on her father, King Triton, to save her in The Little Mermaid. For most of us, though, eventually our dads get tired of our s*it and make us grow up, whether or not that means growing legs.
Flynn Rider may be charming in Tangled, but he's a thief with a false identity and was in what's basically a gang with two sociopaths called The Stabbington Brothers. If you wouldn't allow yourself to get sexed into a gang, why would you encourage this Catfish coupling?
Wendy Darling was commissioned by Peter Pan and the Lost Boys to be their mother in Neverland. Then she tried to make out with Peter Pan, who, as you can tell, is just not that into her. Because Peter Pan isn't a creep, no matter how many associations he may have with the late Michael Jackson.