Have you ever found yourself drawn to men who are completely wrong for you over and over again?
You know, the type that is so pitifully self-destructive that you end up feeling maternal and savior-like, or the type that just thinks of himself and never you, or the type who never talks about his feelings but leaves you with the possibility that maybe one day he will?
More from YourTango: 18 Totally Legitimate Excuses For Why You're Having A Dry Spell
Dr. Lillian Glass calls these men toxic, and almost fifteen years after writing her hit book Toxic People, Dr. Glass is back with a follow-up specifically about those men in your life that you can't seem to get enough of—no matter how hard you try to steer clear. lemondrop: A New Diagnosis For Cheaters? The Personality Type That Strays
We were lucky enough to speak with Dr. Glass to get a few pointers straight from the author of Toxic Men.
Lemondrop: Thanks so much for speaking with us. Here at Lemondrop many of us are busy dating all the wrong guys and your book certainly speaks to that!
Dr. Lillian Glass: Oh thank you! In this day and age, it's staggering that close to 50% of women surveyed say they don't care if they get married. You're seeing a huge divorce rate—100% of marriages end in divorce in some populations! Dating has changed, ideas about relationships have changed, people have changed. We have to find the people in our lives that won't make us miserable. 6 Signs Of Bad Ex Behavior—And How To Avoid Them
That's what's great about Toxic Men, it's more about women taking responsibility for their own choices and patterns than just blaming men for being terrible. That's too easy.
Oh absolutely! Here's a little experiment: list five men, it could be your father, a kid you knew in third grade, a boss, brother, ex, current boyfriend -- just five men you've had strong negative feelings about. Next to their names, list three adjectives describing them. When you're done, circle the adjectives that are similar, and I think you'll find a lot of them are—those are your patterns. Those are the men that you are allergic to. Why Are Bad Relationships Making Women Sick But Not Men?
Read more on lemondrop
- I'm Bored. Wanna Date?
- The Rebound Relationship—Why 'Damaged' Doesn't Mean 'Doomed'
- Are Friends-With-Benefits Relationships Bad For Your Health?
Written by Emily V. Gordon for lemondrop.