Should I stop working full-time to support our family just because he's getting a raise?
At my recommendation, my husband started looking for a different job because his current position, while solid and benefit laden, offered no room for advancement and little job satisfaction. It is one of those jobs that his father's generation would have envied. In fact, his father was pretty incensed that he wanted to leave. Problem is, my hubby hated it and he knew he'd be there a million years before he would ever get a promotion because no one ever leaves.
It's a graveyard and he knew it.
He was meeting with a new employer and the HR department to discuss salary for his new position. This could be a really nice increase, a chance to work at a world-renowned hospital and opportunities to do the kind of work he had been wanting to get into. This, of course, was what I wanted for him. I was thrilled that he has this opportunity and especially more money, to be honest.
His brainstorming over dinner took me by surprise.
He excitedly guessed at what he would likely be offered, what they would say and when he would start. Of course, I hoped all of his guesswork becomes reality… except for one.
My husband said that if he got the salary offer he expected, I wouldn't need to work full-time. Uh, did I say I wanted to give up my career entirely?! Wasn't it him that up until recently said, "Britt, you know you are not the kind of person to be relegated to the barracks every day." He balked when I wanted to stay home after I had my daughter two years ago. In fact, we even had some pretty heated arguments about it. I reluctantly went back to the office after my daughter's birth, but soon realized that I enjoyed my work and the brain exercise it offered every day.
Getting dressed for the office does have its feel-good perks, too.
I had only days ago mentioned to him the idea that I had of offering my consulting skills to my current employer on a part-time basis.
I thought if I could offer them my skills part-time and also secure other part-time work with other locations, I would have exactly what I wanted: Full-time pay and the flexibility to work from home and have the say on how, where and when I worked. I thought it sounded great! Now, the idea was talked down to.
Well, this dinosaur was just not ready for the bone-yard. I knew that I could do rewarding work, balance my life with my family and earn an income and it didn't mean waiting tables unless I want to. I resented the idea that I had to either pursue a full-time career at a full-time job with no flexibility or work at the local diner. I think taking your talents and turning them into "be your own boss" money-making is genius and I know lots of women who do it.
Does it always have to be a choice?
This article was originally published at excelle.monster.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.