We were standing by the quesadillas and salsa. I eyed them speculatively, half-listening to my fellow Tufts alum standing next to me. “You see, I’m just really not meeting the types of girls I want to meet,” he said. I wondered if they had chicken in them or if it was just veggies. Not that it mattered. I reached my hand out, fingers descending upon a little cheesy tortilla.
“So do you have any suggestions?” he asked. “I mean, you are the dating diva, you must know.”
And the dating diva did not need to be chomping on cold Mexican food. I withdrew my hand like there was a cockroach looking up at me and focused myself on the sweet boy so candidly requesting my advice.
“Well,” I said. “You have different options, depending on the type of girl you are looking for.”
Without a blink, he said, “Well-bred.” Hmmm… I wondered if he was looking for a girl or had a secret horse fetish.
Nevertheless. I thought about broaching the online idea, but then dismissed it. Some guys aren’t ready for online. They need to start slow.
I thought about it. Where did well-bred girls congregate?
“Honestly,” I said, “I think that a great place to meet that type of girl is at a charity event.” He looked intrigued by my response, if only slightly.
“See, the first thing that’s good about a benefit, is that everyone pays to get in. This immediately weeds out a lot of the golddiggers (and for the women, the slouches).” We talked about it for several more minutes until a girl came up to me from school who I hadn’t seen in ages, and when I bid him goodbye, Eric looked at the very least, satisfied, happy to have a new way to try and meet that special someone.
Benefits really do tend to attract the cream of the crop. First of all, all of the people there have made a commitment to humanity (although they may not realize it as such) by making a contribution to a good cause. They get immediate bonus points in the land of meeting a “good” guy or “good” girl- they actually care about something besides themselves.
Benefits are also great places to meet someone because you automatically have something in common to talk about.
Man: “So, how did you end up at the Gala for Endangered Tropical Fish?”
Woman: “Well, after my travels in Zambia I was really affected by the wildlife there…”
Man: “Wow, you’ve been to Zambia? That reminds me of a little trip I took to the Ivory Coast. Unbelievable- I never meet girls who have been to Africa….”
Blah, blah, blah and the next thing you know, those two are walking down the aisle, the fish they saved in tow.
Also, people at a charity event or benefit were either invited by the organizer, or the organizer’s friends, or friends of friends, etc. This means that everyone is socially connected to each other in some way, and those who are socially connected have more in common than a random sort of grouping you might find at a bar.
And if 4 am rolls around and you haven’t met anyone date-worthy, who cares? You should feel good about yourself for having expressed a commitment to humanity by supporting a good cause.