What Do Women REALLY Want?


I found an intriguing question posted on Facebook today: What do women REALLY want?

It seemed the majority of the 52 comments were love, respect and to be seen for who she is and not what you want her to be.

More from YourTango: What Do Women REALLY Want?

I can’t speak for all women, but I can tell you what this woman really wants. At the end of the day I want to know I am loved fully and unconditionally. As Aretha Franklin sings so well, respected, my thoughts and dreams valued.

Even in the midst of tragedy and sorrow, I need someone who can make me laugh. This past year has been filled with financial worries. After losing my job in 2008, we lost our home last year. Yes, we had moments where we argued and blew up at each other due to the emotional stress, but we found comfort in each other and we could still find ways to laugh. Whereas most marriages are being tested and destroyed, ours was tested and endured.

To have someone look deep into my eyes and fall in love with me more and more, even when I’m trading my halo for horns, and to live in my heart.

Honestly, I don’t want Mr. GQ. Men like that seem too interested in hair number 300 being out of place rather than in me. I want to be the most important part of his life.

One woman on the post said she wanted a good sex partner. Compatible sex is important. But what happens when the sex drive is no more? There will come a day when you both come home tired, life gets in the way, children are born, you get sick, and you get older. I want someone to have a deep conversation with, to cuddle with on the couch under a blanket while watching a movie. These days a foot rub gets me more excited than a romp in the bedroom. Intimacy is more than just physical sex.

A giving heart is important to me. I volunteer and give my heart to helping people improve their lives. There is no room for selfishness.

I want to be accepted for who I am and when I gain a few “happy” pounds while we’re married. I may wear Victoria’s Secret, but they’re not going to come ask me to walk down their runway.

Thankfully, I have these things and more. A few years ago I wrote a poem to my loving husband thanking him for all he means to me.

When the World . . .

When the world
Seems a lonely place,
You wrap your arms around me and hold me close.

One the days
The world seems bigger than I am,
You hold me in your world and lift me higher.

When I wish to inspire others
And people close me down,
You inspire me.

On the days
People hurt me,
You love and encourage me.

When others
Give me a black eye,
You take away the pain with your tender kisses.

On the days
I want to be so much more,
I realize I am when you look at me.

When others
Have not seen my worth,
You treasure me.

When the world
Seems so dark and I cannot find my way,
You are the light in my life that I can look to when all seems lost.

When I believe
God does not answer our prayers,
I have to remember, He gave me you.

I love you for all you do and for who you are.

More from YourTango: I’m getting a divorce. Time to hit eHarmony!

I hope this helps men out there realize what women really want. Treat us well and treasure us and we’ll give you our heart, the most precious thing you can give someone. Love isn’t complicated. It’s pure. It’s honest. It’s simple.

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