We're offering up some new year advice to these celeb couples and singles.
As we get ready to ring in the new year, most of us are already worried about whether we'll be able to keep our new resolutions. While us regular folks are usually resolving to lose weight and get out of debt, the rich and famous don't have to worry about such things. So, as a way to keep procrastinating about our own resolutions, we've come up with some ideas to help a handful of celebs start off 2010 right!
Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins - GET BACK TOGETHER. This is madness!
Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner - You two crazy kids sure made a cute couple, but it's good that you broke up before things got too serious. Neither of you is even legal drinking age and you're already huge stars. If you keep focusing on your careers now, you'll be adding "super" to those "stars" pretty soon. So for now, enjoy being young, enjoy being famous, and enjoy being single! Don't get tied down. Play the field. But maybe just to avoid confusion, don't date any more Taylors. Actually, we just put together a list of potential dates for both of you. Wasn't that nice of us?
Jude Law and Sienna Miller - Each of you: hire a private investigator to tail the other one at all times. Because we want it to work out for you. It makes perfect sense for you two to get back together. You're like a more elegant, British version of Barbie and Ken. But relationships without trust are pretty tough to sustain. With Sienna's "other woman" reputation and Jude's reputation for sleeping with other women, it could be a bumpy ride.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie - Do not give birth to, adopt, borrow, steal or build any more children. Please. Enough is enough. You two are supposed to be one of Hollywood's sexiest couples, but when do you even have time to have sex with all those kids running around?
Jon and Kate Gosselin - Your show is over. Your marriage is over. The year is over. These are all pretty clear signs that 2010 marks the end of your time in the spotlight. Please clear the tracks and make way for the next train wreck. It's beyond time to put the needs and wants of the Plus 8 ahead of those of Jon and Kate.
Jennifer Aniston - Keep doing what you're doing, girl. Ignore all the haters who want to paint you as a lonely spinster. You're fabulous. You're the most eligible bachelorette in Hollywood! Just keep dating hunks until you find the right one. But trust us, John Mayer is not him. Don't go down that road again. And whatever you do, don't go down the road that leads to Tiger Woods!
Britney Spears - Get married again. French kiss Lady Gaga. Go hot tubbing with Levi Johnston. Do something! Look, we're very proud of how very normal you've been this year and understand that you're trying to be a good mom, but we miss your crazy antics. No one does it like you, Brit. Lindsay Lohan has done a good job holding down the fort, but we're actually concerned for her health at this point. She needs a break. Please come back and entertain us. And could you wake Paris Hilton up for us, too?
Photo via Bauer-Griffin.