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An Unorthodox Way To Get Over A Breakup

Burlesque dancing helped one woman get over a breakup and revisit her sexuality.

I started taking burlesque dance classes after a breakup. I loved dance classes as a kid, and I now had more free time and figured it would give me a sexy new hobby to discuss with future dates. I didn't think about the amount of anxiety it would cause me. I just wanted to become an expert in the art of the tease. Lemondrop: How To Do A Striptease

 Burlesque dancing is not stripping. Clothes are removed slowly, slyly and often with a story that just happens to climax in a g-string and pasties. The titillation comes from removing the clothes, not the dancing that happens once they're off. But to me, the difference is self-awareness. A burlesque dancer is willing to play games with her sexuality in order to entertain you. She will not only look you in the eye while removing her bra, she'll probably wink. She knows you're in on it, too.

My first class was terrifying. My teacher, Ms. Exotic World 2005, expected us to dance in heels, but that was nothing compared to the pain of having to vamp in front of a mirror, giving myself the eye and bumping my hips dangerously. I giggled uncomfortably when she told me to jiggle my cleavage, blushed when she told me to look up and watch myself dance. I left that night thinking that it was too embarrassing and that I was done. Lemondrop: Love Your Body—This Week At Least

But, at home alone, I vamped.

Sucked Into Seduction

Over the next couple of days, however, I found myself staring at my reflection in the mirror as if it were someone I wanted to seduce. I started going back every week, and I was hooked. It was an amazing workout, and I enjoyed being so ridiculously sexual without actually having sex. It was freeing to separate the two. 

I learned how to really see myself and figured out what movements made me look sexiest, as opposed to just copying the bland, open-mouthed girls writhing in videos. I bonded with classmates over who had the best hair toss or the best walk. We all bought gorgeous lingerie that only we saw. My thumbs were rubbed raw as we practiced removing g-strings over and over, and we all came down with "Burlesquer's Elbow", from taking off bras too many times in a row. Lemondrop: Dangerous by Design: Fashion-Inflicted Inujuries

Continue reading about the author's experience on lemondrop.

More from Lemondrop:

Written by Emily Gordon for Lemondrop.

Can you relate?

Discussion

Can Relate - Posted December 1, 2009

Very cool. There's something very empowering about getting in touch with your sexuality, albeit in a safe way, especially after a breakup. After you breakup, you tend to feel under valued, and this is a great way to get in touch again with your femininity. It's certainly a nice way to rebuild your pride. I'm sure men who have experienced this feel similarly, but speaking as an American woman--Someone who lives in a society that focuses so much on beauty, body, age and vitality as means to define her own validity, the loss of your partner can make you feel less valid. From an early age we're taught that to be loved by a man is one of the greatest compliments we can receive. And when that love is gone, that loss is tangible--personally and socially. Personally, I took up bellydancing after my breakup a few years back. Not only did it remove nine inches from my waist line, but it had a transforming effect--mentally. Bellydancing is similar to weight training or endurance training for me. I always leave feeling very powerful.

Visit my website:
http://www.burlesquelingeriecompany.com

View my blog:
http://blog.burlesquelingeriecompany.com

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