Just because you're not boiling bunnies doesn't mean you're totally over your ex (Exhibit A: last Friday's 3 a.m. drunk-dialing episode). Just ask Heather Belle and Michelle Fiordaliso, authors of the post-relationship guide, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex*.
The book's premise: that keeping your ex in your life, aka "exing"—whether that involves a no-strings-attached hook-up or daily monitoring of his Facebook page—is sabotaging your future happiness. Here are six common exing patterns to 86 from your life (along with that dude!). Lemondrop: How To Stay Friends With Your Ex
1. Putting your ex on a pedestal. In reality, Roger was mediocre in bed, wore too much cologne, and hogged the remote. But now that he's no longer in your life, Mr. Ho Hum has become Mr. The One Who Got Away, the guy that no lackluster blind date can hold a candle to.
It's common to exaggerate an ex's good qualities, or even to over-dramatize his bad qualities, but by building him up to be this epic character, you're giving him a starring role in your life rather than the walk-on part he truly was. Put differently, "By making your ex into Superman," Belle and Fiordaliso write, "he actually becomes your kryptonite." Lemondrop: Does Rekindling Things With An Ex Ever Work?
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Written by Erin Donnelly for Lemondrop.