5 Most Annoying Facebook Couples
What you and your honey should leave out of a status update.
For anyone who is remotely active on Facebook, you no doubt have been faced at some point with inane updates on one of your friend's kid's colds or how wedding-planning was coming along for one of your engaged friends. That's why, when parenting website Babble published their list of "Facebook's Five Most Annoying Parents," I immediately thought, "But what about all the annoying couples?" So, without further ado, I present Facebook's Five Most Annoying Couples, after the jump. The Frisky: Poll: Do You Share Your Passwords With Your Significant Other?
1. The Too-Much-In-Love Couple
Between the constant "I love my honey sooooo much!!" and "I have the most amazing husband in the whole world!!!" updates, these couples do proclaim too much. Their updates are filled with flowery adjectives and almost always include the words "amazing," "luckiest," and "best! ever!" Sometimes the updates are even addressed to each other, like, "Kelly, it was exactly two months ago today I met you and became the luckiest man in the universe!" or "Mark, I loved every amazing second of our beautiful weekend together!!" Don't these people have personal email addresses? Can't they actually speak to one another in person and leave the rest of us out of it? But, of course, all these proclamations aren't for their benefit, they're for ours. We're supposed to feel jealous of their burning love for one another and their incredible luck to have found each other. Unfriend! The Frisky: What Your Pet Name For Your Boo?
2. The Pathetic Couple
Outside of their relationship, this couple is miserable and empty. If either of them so much as works outside the home and they're forced to spend eight hours apart, their updates are peppered with hourly countdowns until their end-of-the-day reunion. If one gets invited to a function without the other, they use their Facebook update to announce how unfair the world is and how nothing else in life is as important as the time they spend with each other. "I have to go to my BFF's bachelorette party tonight, which means a whole evening without Nick! No fair!!!" How these couples ever managed to survive in the world without each other is one of the great mysteries of life. The Frisky: Dating Don'ts: How To Avoid Being That Annoying Coupled-Up Person
3. The Boring Couple
It's clear that the Boring Couple, who does nothing but constantly hang out at home, has forgotten that other people actually have fun for fun. They update with: "Excited to stay in for 'movie and pizza night' with the hubby!" or "Gonna cook a big dinner for wifey tonight!!" Well, hey, guess what, the rest of us are going to eat dinner at some point, too, and unless it's enjoyed with a mentor we've just been granted a meal with from the Make-A-Wish foundation, it probably doesn't warrant two exclamation points…or, you know, a status update on Facebook. These people would be more sad than annoying if they weren't so smug about their domestic bliss. The Frisky: MERRIMe, A New Web Comedy About Online Dating
More on relationships from The Frisky:
Discussion
People love to get mad at couples or parents who post about their lives. It comes across as jealous to me.
Look, most people aren't posting discussions of Derrida on their Facebook status report. They're playing weird games like what movie character am I or what percentage of my friends are Republicans. Most of the time it's just a way to update friends on your life - my toilet broke, I found an apartment, I'm going on a business trip. Parents add things about how busy they are, how much noise their kids make, how they like homeschooling, etc. Couples talk about being in love because that's what matters to them.
Okay, I agree couples shouldn't argue over Facebook or use it to send each other goopy messages. Otherwise - if your friends are happy to stay home and eat pizza together, rejoice for them. (And before you call them boring, remember they may be planning to have sex for dessert.) Celebrate what's good about your life instead of telling them not to be happy in public.
The bottom line, though, is that unless you always post brilliant, witty comments, don't throw stones.
Nice! My only real thought while reading this was, "So what?!?"
Why place so much negative energy into something that really doesn't have any actual impact on your life? Okay, so 3.5 seconds of your life were spent reading something you couldn't care less about, are you really in need of criticizing it? Is it really going to make you feel better as a person? You may get some feeling of superiority about how you don't do such things, but, really, it makes about as much sense to kavetch about these things as it does to get all worked up about which celebrity did what/wore/said/(add useless descriptive tidbit)/ to whoever else. Does it really improve who you are as a person? No. So if you don't like it then just ignore it.
