Falling in Love with Love

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Falling in Love with Love

Love. It is the bane of my existence. I always had the ambition of being a "career gal" but truly all I want out of life is to be in love. Pathetic, right. Now that is not to say that I have no ambition regarding a career. In fact quite the opposite can be true; I work three jobs (one full time and two part time) and spend most of my time plotting my next money-making adventure. But truth be told if I was offered the choice between love or money - it would be love every time baby!
I firmly believe that there are others of us out there. We are hiding behind office doors and sitting in traffic jams fantasizing about having someone, as was so cheesily put in the 90s film Jerry MacGuire, to complete us. I am tired of being ashamed of it. Dammit, yes! I want someone to love me. In fact, can I be so brave to say that I deserve to have someone to love me?
Truth be told, I spent 15 years in a bad marriage only to leave that for a relationship where I was told that he "would never love me, ever." Really? No love? Ever!?! Yup, no love from that well. Lots of sex, but no love. This was where I learned the meaning of "sex does not equal love." So I will wander the vast abyss of singledom, because I guess I would rather be alone than be with someone for the wrong reasons.
So does this mean that I am an anti-feminist? No! on the contrary I think it makes me a super feminist. I believe that my "womanly qualities" are by far my best qualities. They are what make me a good worker, a good friend and most of all a good lover and partner. I am not ashamed to say that I like to cook and clean and can tell you that I prefer to dote on my man (when I have one.) What do I expect in return? American Express Centurion Card? Uh, not unless I got it myself. No I just want love: Simple and plain, enduring and all-encompassing love. I can financially support myself, but I just need someone to take care of my heart.
But, the ironic situation is that I will probably spend the rest of my life alone - writing about love and the lack of love. Perhaps I wasn't hugged enough as a child, I don't know. Regardless, I won't settle for what isn't right. All I have to say is that all is fair in love and war and if I happen to fall in love with your man and he falls in love with me - sorry. But don't say I didn't warn you.

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