Why We Love Halloween

By

I hope all of you had a fun and interesting Halloween! I’ve always said that Halloween is my favorite holiday: I love dressing up in costume and seeing what everyone else dresses up as. What is it about this activity that we find so enticing? I realize that as children, the main draw was going from house to house to get free candy. But now, as adults, that cannot be it! After all, with cash in my pocket and keys to the car, I could conceivably drive to the nearest CVS and buy a bag of the sugary stuff for myself! No, that’s not it.

In Imago theory, we posit that we come into the world as perfect, complete, vibrating balls of energy. If we receive messages from our caretakers which encourage our thinking, feeling, sensing, moving, being…then we remain relatively whole. If, however, our early messages are repressive (”stay still”, “don’t cry”, ” you’re not smart enough”, “I wish you’d been a boy”, “you were an accident”, etc.) , then certain parts of our wholeness are either shut down or exaggerated. We make these adaptations to our personalities in order to survive the family of origin. These “lost parts” are called the denied self, the lost self, the disowned self, or the “shadow” in Jungian terms.

In a recent training on Characterological Growth, the participants were asked to come to the workshop as their Lost Self. One woman who had been sexually molested as a child came dressed as a beautiful, sexy, powerful woman after years of having shut down her sexual self. One man came as a daredevil after a lifetime of “playing it safe”. I dressed as a goofy, silly, outrageous girl in response to parental messages about the importance of behaving within acceptable guidelines. Get the picture?

So, back to Halloween. Is it possible that we love Halloween because it offers us the possibility and the freedom to play with our Lost Selves; to dig deep into ourselves and bring out that missing part? I invite you to think back on your choice of costumes, this year and in years past. Perhaps, in your choice of playful disguises there is a kernel of information to help you see what you may have lost along the way. It’s never too late to grow into your perfect, complete wholeness!

I have the tools to help you heal the wounds of the past and experience your full potential as an individual and an intimate partner.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Mary Kay Cocharo

Counselor/Therapist

Mary Kay Cocharo, LMFT Certified Imago Relationship Counselor 11340 W. Olympic Blvd. Suite 210, Los Angeles,  California 90064 310.828.2624 www.mkcocharo.com

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: LMFT, Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Mary Kay Cocharo:

Is Technology Splitting Your Marriage Apart?

By

Technology: it's wonderful but has certainly complicated the world of human interaction in unforeseen ways. Do you remember the episode of Sex and the City when Berger breaks up with Carrie on a Post-It note? That's dated. Today, the episode would most likely show him leaving the message in a text, on Facebook, or possibly on Twitter or Instagram. ... Read more

New Partner? What To Consider Before You Have Sex

By

Not to take away from the magic of that first kiss, but let's talk about what's really going on in the beginning of a new relationship. Before deep love has time to take root, we experience strong infatuation — and it's taking place at the neuro-chemical level. Two central chemicals are at play: dopamine and oxytocin. First of all, ... Read more

Marriage: Turn Conflict Into Marital Bliss

By

Why does communication seem so difficult for some married couples? Why is argument the go-to communication strategy? In this new video, Marriage therapist and counselor Mary Kay Cocharo talks you through the steps you'll need to take to become a better listener and speaker in your relationship. First step? Stop yelling! “When you’re yelling, ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources
FROM AROUND THE WEB