Are You Affectionate In Front Of Your Family?
Do you dare to bare your feelings in front of the family?
This weekend, the Meanley Clan celebrated my sister's birthday at my grandma's house (Happy Birthday, Jen!!). We enjoyed lunch and cake out on the patio with my dad's side of the family, which is the Englishy, non-affectionate side of the family.
My cousin brought his new girlfriend, and, not to sound all high-schooly (because let's be honest, we cousins are all in our 30s), but he held hands with her! I've never seen him do that. There was hand-holding and arm-wrapping and I even heard the word "Honey" a few times. I was glad to see my cousin happy. It's funny what a woman will do to your cousin.
I've only been in this position a few times in my life, and it's always such a dilemma. I probably worry way too much that I'm distracting or grossing out my relatives. I don't know why, but I feel like such a kid around my fam.
I know a lot of you can't stand the thought of holding hands—and in these swine fluvian times, you may be on to something—but I just wondered how many of you touch your significant other in front of family? Do you hold hands, grab waists? Anyone touch the thigh? Will you play footsie at Thanksgiving?
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Discussion
As someone who hasn't dated a lot, let alone had many full blown relationships, this was always something I worried about. Finally I decided I wasn't going to change my behavior just to make sure my mom was comfortable. There's no passionate kissing, but there is kissing, hand holding, wrist grabs, hands on thigh, etcetera. Of course I'm a little less affectionate in front of his family because I'm still not totally sure of them, but I do steal the occasional kiss and we sit close.
Mom is half mexican, half italian, but her side of the family pulls a lot stronger on the mexican blood, and her side of the family is huge (I seriously can't date any latin gals in East LA or most of Southern Cali for fear they might be a cousin).
If you've ever met a truly mexican family then you know these are warm, extremely affectionate people. So I've grown up in a very affectionate household...VERY affectionate. Most people can't handle seeing their parents kisses be more than pecks. My folks kiss very passionately. So for me, being affectionate is second nature. Kissing, holding, hugging, and all other manner of affection goes on in my house, whether by myself or my folks. For us its just the physical manifestation of our care and concern for that special someone in our lives. There is nothing awkward about it or unsettling.
Okay, maybe most people would find what my parents do in front of us kids (don't worry, its all PG) but I made my piece with that a long time ago...besides, thats how I got here and its kinda nice knowing that I was conceived by two people playing in love.
It would be pretty awkward in front of family, I think...its just something I wouldn't do. Unless maybe everyone's like going to a state fair and having fun or something like that, I'm not sure.
But I guess others are more open about it.
