"Dating Married Men is Not Smart"

By YourTango

"Dating Married Men is Not Smart"

From the book "Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others," by John T. Molloy.

"There is another way to increase your chances of getting married - do not go out with married men.  To begin with, it's wrong.  Any woman who breaks up a family, given all the research on what divorce does not only to the adults involved but also to the children, is making a grave mistake.

Dating married men is not smart.  If you go out with a married man who lives with his wife, the chances are slim that he will leave her.  If he has not left her within the three months of meeting you, the likelihood goes down to almost zero.  We met at least a dozen women who spent years of their youth dating a married man who was always "about" to get divorced....

The women researchers who interviewed these people were of two opinions.  The first group said that women who went out with married men and got stuck had it coming.  They were doing something ethically wrong, and they could not expect to be rewarded for their actions.

The other group said that these women were the biggest fools in the world.  The researches interviewed women who had been the "other woman" most of their adult lives.  Once they became the other woman, their social lives stopped.  They didn't date; they didn't have a normal relationship with their married lover; they spent a lot of time hiding.  About half these women, under pressure from a man who would not give up his wife, gave up their friends.  They admitted to sitting around waiting for the few minutes that the married man would spend with them.  Women who date married men usually have sad and wasted lives.  It almost invariably leaves the woman unhappy.

One woman, after having been inspired in a focus group to describe her life as it really was, took out her cell phone and broke up with a married man she had been dating for two years.  Several others who had volunteered to answer questions about their love lives found it so painful they broke off the interviews in tears.  We could locate only sixteen women dating married men who would talk to us, even after we told them we would sign non-disclosure agreements. ...Not one said she was happy with her life.

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