Does the idea of having sex with your fat spouse really get you excited? With the exception of a few people with “fat fetishes”, having sex with your fat wife or husband either feels obligatory, or meets the bare standard of releasing your pent-up sexual desire. The overweight partner has even greater issues when it comes to sex, which often goes beyond the psychological. The desire to have sex with a trim sexy partner isn’t a fabricated Hollywood myth; the science behind sexual interest in fit bodies is real and has been confirmed over and over, it is undeniable to a reasonable person.
Body types figure strongly in what gets people turned on sexually, this results from fact that we are hard wired to find healthy mates who are more able to bear, and subsequently take care of offspring. Studies show that there is a stronger correlation for men finding females attractive according to “BMI” than the much vaunted Waist to Hips Ratio (i.e. sexy curves). The “ideal” BMI peaks around 17 or 18. The attempt to qualify this obvious conclusion, as “media brainwashing” is delusional. The “fat acceptance” movement seeks to force people to be find overweight people attractive through politically correct pressures. This effort is doomed to failure because it denies the biological nature of sex and reproduction. An attempt by a wife or husband to guilt, or attack their partner for desiring a sexy mate, is just as doomed to fail.
In addition to being considered unattractive because of excess fat, an overweight spouse can often times have an aversion to sex, for several reasons. Physical and emotional issues are both factors in this aversion to having sex. Nearly 50 percent of those seeking treatment for obesity said they sometimes, usually or always felt NO desire for sex, compared to just 2 percent of those who were not obese. About four out of every 10 treatment-seekers reported physical problems with sex, according to a Duke University study. When it comes to a couples sex life the data certainly supports “fat isn’t fit!”
The good news is that even with moderate weight loss, the sex in a relationship can improve. A wife doesn’t have to fit back into a wedding dress in order for her to have new gained sexual confidence, or for her husband’s interest to be piqued. Information from the same Duke University study also indicates that weight loses as little as 10% resulted in more bedroom confidence, and better sex.
One of the sad, but almost comical aspects obese sex, is the sheer mechanics of it. At a certain weight some fat people simply can’t get their genitalia together in order to have sex. It is hard to imagine for most of us, but for many obese, instead of using this as a wake up call to lose weight, they simply avoid sex all together. The fat acceptance, online publication “Dimension Magazine”, has actually published a guidewith suggested positions for the obese to work around their blubber in order to have sex. Reading this article produced by the “head in the sand” people is actually kind of entertaining, maybe a little gross. After reading this, one has to ask the question “Why not simply lose some weight and not have to deal with this issue?”
For many wives and husbands married to an overweight spouse most of this information simply confirms what you have already experienced. Choosing to be overweight in a marriage is not a simple aesthetic issue, which the thinner mate needs to learn to get over. There are proven emotional, biological, and physical reasons why it impacts the sex life of a marriage in a negative way. If you are the thinner spouse in such a relationship don’t be intimidated into believing your desires are simply unrealistic whims of a “shallow” spouse.
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