I think that as time has evolved in my situation, I've learned some lessons that I'd like others to gain the benefit from. Hence, I am writing this guide to bringing it up with your loved one as a FIRST TIME APPROACH. I'll also include my list of WHAT NOT TO DO and tenets of support. Yes, you are going to have to play a real role and work at this to make it work. But your relationship is worth it, isn't it?
Some clarification before we begin on why I think I can help you. Let me tell you why I am uniquely qualified to speak on the matter before you read the whole article. Also, while I am not a certified counselor, therapist or psychologist;
I believe that the recommendations that I'm going to suggest are reasonable and in fact productive. You may wish to consult other posts to determine the correct course of action for your personal situation. My recommendations come from roughly a decade of helping people at varying stages of fitness, my own struggle with injury and weight gain, and helping loved ones drop weight and get healthier. I'm in the trenches. I've fought this battle several times already and come out successful in most cases.
I work in pharmaceutical sciences in the area of endocrine disorders, although I also work in other treatment areas as well. My background in solid science and my chosen career are directly related to healthcare. And while I am NOT a doctor, I work collaboratively with the medical community on these issues everyday. My position requires that I continue to keep abreast of the latest developments, studies and theories.
I do not have a website, I don't charge for the personal training I continue to do today, nor do I write novels or books for a living. Everything I do, is pro-bono when it comes to helping other individuals. I'm a fitness professional and pharmaceutical researcher, I am not a journalist with a few cherry picked articles under my belt. Nor am I someone who obtains their information from fitness magazines promising 6 pack abs in 6 weeks.
At the end of the day, remember this... "YOU are the one who must live with the results of your efforts... and only YOU can judge the situation accurately for yourself."
Take my advice at your own personal discretion.
First Time Advice:
Maybe they have started putting on weight. Maybe they were getting fit when you first started the relationship, and you thought that they'd continue. Perhaps they have asked you "Does this make my butt look big?" or "Do you still love me?". Maybe they are morbidly obese right now and you have never brought it up. The following suggestions and points to consider may be able to guide you to successful first time intervention.
1) Independently take stock of the situation.