Having The Tough Talks With Men

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Having The Tough Talks With Men

I think there are a few difficult conversations that women normally
initiate. Men, for the most part, will sit back and wait for a woman to
bring these topics up. They're all for anything that does not disrupt
that status quo. So, I thought
we'd break down some of the more ...uncomfortable conversation that we
all tend to have and the various situations in which we have them.

=>The Online Dating Site Initial Conversation -
If you're a female, sitting back and waiting for guys to write you will
result in little to no results. If the guy is quality, you can bet he's
being inundated with responses from other women. Let's be honest,
though...unless your message is riddled with typos and bad grammar or
you open with something cheesy like, "Hello handsome..." (Grade A
Cheese and will always have me hitting the delete button in
milliseconds when I get messages like these from men)...it's all about
your picture, your age and your body type. Those are the first three
things men look at, and that's before they even read your email. Sure,
it's always proper to read the card first before you open the present,
but this ain't no birthday party. We look at profiles first THEN the
message. Men have short attention spans, so don't send them a missive.
3-4 lines is good, and you should reference at least one thing from his
profile and ask him a question. Open with something cheery like "Hey
there..." (I just read that "Howdy" is a good intro. YMMV on that one.)
"Hi" is a little stiff. No net speak, although smiley faces are okay to
use in order to convey tone. If you share a common interest with the
guy, like wine, tell him about a recent tasting or particular flight
you just tried. Really read his full profile, too, because more and
more people are intentionally writing something "off" to see if people
are reading their profiles. Plus, lots of people are including truths
in their profile ad like their real age or whether or not they're
really divorced and not just separated. Don't write something generic
like "Hey, liked your profile and think we have a lot in common. Would
love to chat." That screams cut and paste and makes you look lazy.
Also, ladies, be mindful of something....self-confidence is great.
Self-importance isn't. It's fine to tell someone you're witty, but
don't go overboard and say you'll have him in stitches. Expounding on
your own virtues is fine, just don't over do it. I had a guy friend
tell me that using descriptors like "fiercely intelligent" and "whip
smart" makes a woman sound full of herself. Same goes for you too,
guys. Show, don't tell. Keep it simple and easy. Women dig the 2
paragraph messages. Men don't. If he's intrigued enough by your photo
and profile, you won't need to sell yourself too hard in the initial
message.  GREAT RESOURCE:   Geeks Dream Girl, Evan Marc Katz, EFlirt Expert Laurie Davis

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