4 Tricks People With Incredible Social Skills Use To Make Someone Feel Instantly Connected To Them

It'd be great if making connections with others was something you could approach with excitement and nonchalance. Unfortunately, that's not always the case.

You may want to make a good impression and win someone's interest, yet the very act of pondering how the other person will perceive you can make you less confident. These psychology-based techniques can help make a connection with someone can help.

Here are 4 tricks people with incredible social skills use to make someone feel instantly connected to them:

1. Make eye contact

According to Leil Lowndes, author of How to Instantly Connect with Anyone, eye-contact signifies "honesty, respect, interest, intelligence, candor, and confidence."

But what makes eye contact good? In a word: length. You need to look at someone long enough to actually connect with them, not just a brief flicker here and there.

Lowndes recommends a few strategies for maintaining continuous eye contact. Think about the exact shade of his eyes, count the number of times she blinks, note the shape and asymmetry of his eyes.

RELATED: 7 Rare Qualities That Make Someone Instantly More Likable When They Talk, According To Psychology

2. Use the almost-touch

iona didishvili / Shutterstock

Touching the other person on the arm or the shoulder is a standard flirting technique. The physical contact indicates interest and comfort. 

But Lowndes suggests something else: the almost-touch. Reach out like you're about to touch him, but stop before you do.

This works on men ("their fantasies go wild, wondering what it means") and women ("she may appreciate your affection but can't accuse you of being too forward.")

RELATED: 15 Things Extremely Charming People Do Way Differently

3. Be eager and enthusiastic — to a point

Here's a dilemma: How do you come across as interested in someone without seeming overly-interested?

Let the other person speak first, then match his level of enthusiasm. That way, you won't sound disinterested or desperate. This works well on a first date or when someone introduces you to someone else.

RELATED: The Powerful Psychological Trick To Make Someone Think About You Nonstop

4. Make a good last impression

Yuri A / Shutterstock

The way you say good bye might be even more important than the way you say hello. Studies have shown that when people think about a past incident, they're more likely to remember the way they felt at the end, even if it's significantly different from how they felt during the event.

To create a great last impression, advises Lowndes, don't just say goodbye. Instead, say a full sentence that includes the person's name.

Something like, "It was really great to meet you, Tom." Or "Amy, thanks, I had a really good time." Be warm and friendly and speak with at least as much energy as you did when you said hello.

RELATED: Psychology Says People Who Are Good At Reading People Always Use These 7 Tricks

Sarah Harrison is an editor and content strategist whose work has appeared in The Guardian, Vice, The New York Times, The Independent, and Psychology Today.