FEELIN SO GOOD

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I HAVE WRITTEN TWO PAST POST ABOUT ME AND MY DAUGHTER'S FATHER HAVE SO MUCH CHAOS GOING ON BETWEEN US. WELL I DECIDED TO GIVE AOTHER UPDATE ON AN UNUSAL EXPERIENCE. LATELY ME AND HIM HAVE BEEN GETING CLOSE, MOST SEXUALLY AND MY FEELINGS TARTED FLAIRING UP TOWARDS HIM AGAIN. I DECIDED TO CALL HIM A WEEK AGO AND TELL HIM ABOUT MY FEELINGS AND HE JUST BRUSHED ME OFF AND DID NOT SEEM TO CARE. SO TONIGHT OCTOBER 18TH I DECIDED TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE WAY HE ACTS. 
I TOLD HIM ITS LIKE HE DOES NOT ACKNOWLEDGE ME AT TIMES, HE DOES NOT CARE TO BE SEEN WITH ME OR GIVE ME HE LOVE AND AFFECTION I WANT, HE JUST WANT SEX.I TOLD HIM, HE IS VERY SELFISH AND JUST THINKS ABOUT HIS SELF. WELL HE TELLS ME THAT I SHOULDN''T BE MAD AT HIM BECAUSE WE DON'T EXPRESS OUR FEELINGS THE SAME WAY AND THAT HE JUST CONCERN ABOUT HIS DAUGHTER AND THAT'S IT. I TOLD HIM WHY IS YOU STILL HAVING SEX WITH ME AND HE GOES WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE SEX I DON'T NEED SEX.HE TOLD ME HE WOULD CALL ME BACK. 
SO WHEN HE CALLED ME BACK I SAID THESE EXACT WORDS THAT ALSO REFERS TO MY FORMER JOB "I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT THAT JOB, I DON'T NEED ALL THAT STRESS. I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A MAN RIGHT NOW.IN THE BIBLE IT STATES 'A MAN SHOULD LOOK FOR HIS WOMAN (HUSBAND LOOK FOR WIFE)' AND WHEN HE FINDS ME, HE GOING TO BE SOMEONE THAT CARES FOR ME AND ACCEPTS ME FOR ME AND ETC. SO YOU HAVE A GOOD LIFE AD GOODNIGHT."

ONCE I HUNG UP THE PHONE I PICKED MY DAUGHTER UP AND STARTED PLAYING WITH HER MORE THAN BEFORE. I NEVER BEEN SO MUCH HAPPIER AND FELT SO MUCH BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE. I GOT ALOT OFF MY CHEST TONIGHT AND I FEEL SO GOOD. FOR ONCE I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF AND DIDN'T HIDE BEHIND THE SCREEN. I LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG. ALL BEFORE I WAS SO AFRIAD OF LETTING GO OF HIM BECAUSE OF MY DAUGHTER BUT NOW I FEEL FREE. EVERY SINCE JUNE OF 2008 (THE BREAK UP), I WAS FEELING DOWN, I WASN'T HARDLY TAKING CARE OF MYSELF TO BUSY TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE THROUGH HIM.I LOST ME THROUGH HIM AND LOST MY SENSE. I LOST MY RESPECT AND SELF CONFIDENCE AND LOST ALOT OF CONTROL. TO SCARED OF REALLY SPEAKING MY MIND THINKING HE WOULD LEAVE OUT OF MY LIFE FOR GOOD. ONCE I SPOKE MY MIND I FELT SO MUCH BETTER. NOW I LET MY GOD HAVE HIS WAY.

WHEN YOU HAVE SO MUCH ON YOUR MIND IT TAKS ALOT OUT OF YOU AND YOU CAN'T BE YOURSELF. LIKE EN VOGUE SAID "FREE YOUR MIND, AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW"

THANKS YOURTANGO FOR HELPING ME AND ALL THE FOLKS THAT GAVE ME ADVICE. IREALLY APPREC

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