Jon Gosselin, after abandoning his family for a series of douchey parties on yachts and in Vegas, is now saying his estranged wife, Kate, is keeping him from seeing twins Mady and Cara on their birthday, today. "She's trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on their birthday because she doesn't want to see me," Jon moaned to Entertainment Tonight Wednesday.
Kate and Jon are currently taking turns spending time at the family's Pennsylvania home with their eight kids, but when Kate e-mailed Jon to suggest that they split the girls' birthday so their daughters could see both parents (and not see them sniping childishly at each other), Jon pitched a conniption and flounced off to cry on Mary Hart's aggressively padded shoulder. OMG, Kate, such a gem you married. Divorce Laws, Demystified
In much more entertaining Gosselin news, the family has inspired an episode of Law & Order that will air Oct. 16. The episode centers on a deeply indebted couple with ten special-needs children vying for a reality-show contract with a mother of ten children conceived through in-vitro (how these people live in New York with ten kids will, we assume, be explained as magic). The mother of the first family turns up dead, and detectives suspect her husband. We are just sad that Lennie Briscoe is no longer around to make wry jokes about Groucho Marx and his cigar. Law & Order Star on Marriage and Life
But why stop at NBC on Friday nights? Some other Gosselin-inspired entertainment we'd like to see: The kids form their own flash mob and chase Robert Pattinson through the streets of Philadelphia (in the third book, the vampires meet Zombie Ben Franklin)! Kate guest-judges an episode of Project Runway and emotionally scars a model for life by making her cut her hair into a streaky backwards mullet! And Jon goes on Survivor, wanders away from the tribe, and is never heard from again. Coming soon!
Via Us Weekly. Photo via Bauer-Griffin.