What are the reasons that he is so "perfect" for you? Maybe you should look deeper under the surface and get to know him better or do activities that you do not usually do together to get him to open up. This might either uncover something that totally turns you off of him to let him go, or you never know it might expose something that makes him irresistible? Does that make sense? Maybe if you don't refer to him as "Mr. Perfect" you won't forced to have feelings for him and be able to move on/let him go.

are you sure that he is perfect? then what about you? do you think that you are perfect like him? I think everybody has strong and weak point, nobody is perfect. The point is he is just fit you or not. just has good things doesn't prove that someone is perfect. Or you might afraid of getting hurt, you might jealous of him.. and so on. There's many reason.. so think about yourself first, or, he's not meant to be...

i thought this was supposed to be "smart" talk about love. someone get her some cheese with that whine.

I understand that this i something we would whine to our girlfriends about but, insofar as an article, i feel that none of the actually interesting parts are being addressed. we've all been through this, the difference is now that we're of marriagable age and we're panicing. i mean, would this have gone on a whole month in college? now that we've found someone who fits so much husband critea we're gonna hoard him - even if we can't bring ourselves to get naked with him. i think it's becasue we don't want to look back and go what if. and to paraphrase carrie fisher in 'when harry met sally' we don't want to run the risk of going through our whole life knowing that OUR husband is married to another woman.

this isn't rocket surgery here. you want help, help yourself. no one else's story is going to fix you. decide what you want. do you want to be adored and sex starved? are you really a romantic under it all and want true love, marriage, fairytales and rainbows? or are you someone that actually enjoys being in a conundrum in which you are the center of flattery and envy. hey, i'm not judging. plenty of people are like that. maybe all you really want is resolution to the situation. get drunk and sleep with him and figure out how you feel the morning after. do anything other than bemoan how difficult it is for you not to want the perfect guy. that's like the supermodel bitching about how hard it is to get a date. no one wants to hear it.

the way i read it, you've already made up your mind that you're not into him. if you actually do care at all about this guy, you'd cut bair and toss that sucker back into the sea where he belongs.

I have been dating the same girl for three months I think we are perfect for each other, he have tons in common, more then anyone I have ever met. I am very attracted to her and we seem to have great chemistry, we have passion, hold hands, make out often and everywhere but when it comes to getting close to having sex she freaks out and stops me cold in my tracks and she doesnt have any idea of why, she tells me she likes me, is attracted to me yet sex doesnt feel right and she cant explain it and hasnt been like this in the past with anyone else she likes?? Which of course leads me to great frustration but being the patient and nice guy I am I tell her its ok and that I am fine with going slow. Now were on a break, she is trying to figure it out....Do I keep persuing or move on? I dont want to move on and am not wanting to put pressure on her either, were both in our 30's and from what I can tell we have no other issues.

You described the man as "perfect" and your friends and family both like him. He's has a good background, education, health, and he's a gentleman. Perhaps you should take a moment to really think about why you don't want him.

In the meantime, get to know him more and please, don't give him up without an incredible reason. Men like him are few and far between, and most women would be grateful to have one of his type.

Not all men have the ability to just send electric sexual shock waves in women. Then again in the big picture of relationships, everything can't be perfect. If you can find a partner that can provide you with a healthy relationship, then don't let him go.

There is a rational explanation for this. John is night right for you, hormonally speaking. Each of us is instinctively to members of the opposite sex who have a dissimilar genetic footprint. Studies show that when you give women sweaty, dirty guys' t-shirts, they will be repelled by guys with similar genes, and turned on by guys with dissimilar genes. Dissimilarity results in healthier offspring, so we look for it unconsciously in a mate. My guess is that John just isn't a good genetic match for you. If you don't crave his smell, he's definitely not.

A new study shows that taking the Pill changes the way you smell guys, and the way they smell you. In which case, John might be perfect for you, but because the Pill is smoothing out your hormones during the month, you're missing important cues. Interesting food for thought. Here's the link to the full story:

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2009/10/22/hookinguprealities/is-the-pill-...

OmG! I cant relate to this situation but i know what u are going thru, since i have a friend that has the same problem. She meet this guy who in her eyes, appears to be her perfect guy. But she doesnt fit with the guy (well thats what she says) But I think that we gotta stop looking for the perfect guy.....sometimes the best person to be with, is the oposite of all those things you wish for!

How in the world are you going to stay faithful to someone for 20 years if you're not attracted to them?

What about him? How is he going to feel in a few years if you don't really want to have sex with him?

What if you have kids? Do you want to teach your daughter that she should expect to marry a guy she doesn't want to have sex with? Do you want to teach your son that wives don't like sex? Do you want to stay married for your kids' sake if your marriage is sexless? if you find someone else who you love and want to sleep with?

Unless you suddenly find attraction growing between you two, don't do this to yourself or him.

Anyway, everybody in 'da ause' has contributed well. the fact is, we all set out characteristics that we will like in a partner, and immediately we found someone with about 85 or 90% of those xtics, we get convince that the person is our ideal partner. I have found myself in this shoe and it made me cry all night long, as this guy has all that i could ever wanted in my man, but can't really describe how the moments we share together are. LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP, is what i concluded on after i discovered that I dont just love this guy the way i want to love my boo. If I had taken my time before going into the relationship with him, I would know I didnt have true feelings for him. But MY ADVICE is : Pick out those things that you dont really like about him, as these might be the reason why you find it difficult to love him, If you can live with those things, then you can go ahead, do little work on him, you can still love him with time. But if you cannot live with those things, then, you have to get out of the relationship before it is too late for the two of you. In my own case, i decided to walk on those thing that does not make me to love him the way i supposed, and now, I love him and our relationship holds a bright future.

I have to admit, I'm further into the same kind of situation. At first I was quite attracted to a man most women tell me is "perfect". He's very zen-like, very kind, considerate, generous, extremely handsome, very intelligent, and we relate workwise and philosophically. But there just isn't that real chemistry between us, the glue that holds things together when times get tough. I'm really looking at why I'm not really interested anymore. And what is has come down to is the fact that he has kids, the fact that his kids are very disciplined, have no work ethic, and the fact that he's just not really manly. If the boat we were on was sinking or if something bad happened, I can't really say that I trust he can take care of things. I realize it's a two-way street but women want men they know they can trust to protect them, not a man they have to worry about if trouble happens. Am I too picky? Do I stay because he has everything else?

Having been on both sides of the coin before, I think anybody in a situation like the one in this article should stop thinking about what they -should- do, or what anybody else will think or any of that, and ask yourself "Why is it that I am not attracted to this person?" and be completely honest with yourself. Chances are that you need to work on you and maybe even grow up a bit.

Of course I'm not saying that it's always the case that the person who can't be attracted to this other person needs to grow up or work on themselves but doesn't it make the most sense to be able to rule that out first? If you ask yourself, I mean really ask yourself why you're attracted to this guy or that guy and why you're not attracted to this particular guy, and why you like what you like, and why you get with a certain type of guy, and all of those important things, and can honestly say that there's nothing you need to improve about that or work on, then you can say it's just this one particular guy and nothing else. And if you can't honestly say that there's nothing you need to improve or work on, then if you work on it now, you will have saved yourself years of unnecessary bad relationships and bad situations, and years of the emotional trauma that comes with all of them.

Part of becoming an adult is dropping childish things, including involving anything or anybody else in your relationship but you and the other person in it. It does not matter what anybody else says you should do or should like, it only matters what you personally know that you should do or should like based only on your own sense.

I'm speaking from experience, as a guy who has worked on everything that I needed to work on about myself, and who at the very least can say that I don't cause my own problems or get into unnecessary drama anymore and thus can choose to only surround myself with those who I know are the type of people I want to surround myself with. I'm not saying anybody's life will get better who does this but wouldn't you want to ensure that you don't ever shoot yourself in the foot so to speak?

OMG I CAN REALLY RELATE!!

I was dating and almost got engaged to a guy I used to refer to my friends as "Mr. perfect" (what a coincidence, huh?). My friends and family looooved him, and so did I. The only problem was, there was very little sexual chemistry.

We were on the same page when it came to humor, work life, philosophy, etc. He was very smart, organized, successful, optimistic, kind and compassionate. He was not, however, sexy, stylish, daring, or spontaneous. I knew from the beginning he was not my type, as in the past I had always been attracted to (and dated) the bad boys, who had the machismo, but were not very kind to me.

I hope someday I will find a man who is both kind and, well, a little macho too. That's just what turns me on, and I can't be without that.

Let's face it, guys who are too nice? We want them to be our best friends, NOT our lovers.

I'm in a very similar situation. When I first met the man that I'm talking to (because we're not technically dating, but we are getting to know each other) I was very hesitant "to see what's there" when he first began expressing interest in me. I could see myself dating him down the road, but not at this point in time. I was feeling that I would rather let feelings develop naturally than have to press the issue -- of "I like you, lets date". From the way I felt towards him 4months ago, which was "no way, not interested, no thank you". Until now? I feel very different. I guess since he has stopped pressing the so called issue, I feel like, things are happening naturally. The other night we were hanging out after our band rehearsal and I felt very fond of him. I didn't make out, or anything of that nature because I'm still not absolutely sure of my feelings towards him, but I wanted to. I definitely felt we were in fact connecting. There was definitely a little bit of flirting and hand holding and running my fingers thru his hair, but no making out. It feels good. I feel like a teenager all over again.

If it turns out that you really do like this guy, your gut instinct will tell you when you are around him. The guy I'm currently talking to now, is perfect in every sense. From how thoughtful he is, to how talented a person he is, his business mind, he's very funny, handsome, tall, fit and most of all, is a family man who wants to get married one day and have kids. Of course he has flaws, but I'm overcoming those everytime we hang out. We shall see what the future holds......

Don't know if this will work but, perhaps you should stop thinking about him as "Mr. Perfect"? Stop calling him that in your head even if you feel like he fits the bill to the T. Just treat him, think of him as a regular guy. Stop looking at how he does things, what he does for you, etc. and just be with him. Don't get so wrapped up on the little details and just go with him. It might sound contradictory but you might be able to forge an emotional connection with him when he's not a "god" or standing on some sort of pedestal.

And heck, if that doesn't work, just think of how much you'll miss him if you two break up and how every guy will just be not as great as "John."