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Mocked by Hallmark…again…

I was in the drug store looking for a card for my grandmother’s
birthday the other day. Usually I make my own because it seems like I
always have to read cards for 3 hours until I find one that says what
I’d like it to say. I glanced at one that said, “For the man I
Love.”…what is this?…and who would ever give it to someone? Does anyone
even know what that word means anymore? It seems like buying someone
that card would make him uneasy. No man I’ve ever met has ever wanted
to hear those words. My card would have to be a heck of a lot bigger so
it could fit the words, “For a man that I know but like to hang out
with but not too much cause I don’t want to scare him away so I guess I
shouldn’t even give you this card so you don’t think that I care all
that much about how you are or what you do!”…”heart”, me!
I actually have a whole series of Calia Cards! I wonder if Hallmark is hiring?
Here are a few of favorites:

Someone is lurking to read you a po-em
I keep on calling but you are not Ho-em

I thought of a time that you’d not pass me by
I turned to your girl, punched her right in the eye!

Your eyes are so pure
Your heart is so true
I’m sure there’s a cure
It’s likely the flu


Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.

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