6 Common Myths About Women
Trying to level the playing field by reducing the confusion.
Surprisingly, in today's world of abundant information exchange the number of myths about women that float around is rather alarming. May be it's supposed to add to the "mystique" or may be to make men more clueless than they already are. Personally though I've never been that good with ambiguities and mind games. I mean, I'm up for some short-lived word-play, but only in the name of fun when all parties are amused by it. Therefore, I would like to attempt to dissipate some of the said myths in hopes of making the world a more relationship-friendly place (or at least just rant out my angst). Lemondrop: The Key To A Happy Marriage? A Younger, Smarter Wife (And Sex)
1. Forget what TV told you. The Frisky: 5 Ways Women Try To Impress Men And Why They Don't Work
Contrary to the popular belief (disseminated by the media) all women are not constantly confused, neurotic, insecure about everything, love to watch dizzy chick-flicks, have the size of their intelligence oppositely proportional to their external attractiveness. In actuality a very large percentage of women who like to look good (and put some effort into it) are exceptionally intelligent and well educated. They just start pretending to be less so after they realize that very few men are secure enough to stick around once they realized that the hot blond they are hitting on has a PhD in space engineering (or something like that). Romantic Comedies Warp Your Brain
2. I'm not your ex-girlfriend.
Seriously. I'm not. Just because she yelled at you every time you did not answer her call right away, or cheated on you every time she felt neglected, left you when you got sick/in trouble/etc., etc. does not mean I will do the same. Even if you start behaving like an *** and trying to lead me into doing the same simply because you expect it, still does not mean I will do it. Same stands for the opposite—trying to get me to do something by saying that your ex-girlfriend did it is not a good strategy. The Worst Pop-Culture Boyfriends
3. To make things easier, assume I know everything.
Give some credit to my intelligence. I am fully capable of connecting my DVD player to the TV. I can even fix your wireless home network and install a new stereo in your car. I really don't need to wait for you to come and replace a burned out light bulb. Treat me as an equal human being, not as a retarded creature for whom you need to dumb down everything you say. Especially in front of your friends and relatives. There are also very few things more frustrating than suggesting something to your partner for it to only be discarded as silly blubber and later on repeated back to you like the most brilliant revelation by the same partner after he heard it from someone else.
4. I don't need to stop and ask for directions to find my way.
Discussion
It is difficult to write a credible article denouncing stereotypes when you use your own stereotypes in that same article. This article was personal and should have been kept in the first person.
Having read the list I can only say it doesn't jive with the other list a Iread about nice finishing last. Obviously this was written by a woman for women not for us men. Why? Well nice guys don't get the girl,they are more interested in the guy who doesn't care about them with the big ego.
Then it says here who likes a guy with a big ego. Wow is that a contradiction or what?
When a woman calls me up and asks me why her camera keeps shutting off and can't figure it out by herself that the battery icon is red and has a slash through it means the battery is dead it only tells me you are helpless and ditsy. What a turn off. I am not one of those guys who is threatened by a woman with intelligence but I have yet to actually find one. I had a friend for years who I always thought was quite smart. I am sorry but I measure smart by many things. One is the ability to see when you're not being a good friend and when you promise something and do not deliver. To me that makes you selfish and in my opinion selfish people are anything but smart. I am talking smart,intelligent and caring. In my estimation if you were a smart person you would also be a caring one because you would be able to understand that we need to care for one another. If we don't it just breaks down society.
So you're not my ex-girlfriend,no you turned out worse then she was. Phrases like: I will never cheat on you:I'm not like any of the other women you have been with only make me know you are going to be worse and cheat on me quicker then she did. So you're not my ex just a woman who is worse then she could ever be.
Sorry honey no,you cannot read a map,you can't even back up in the car without hitting something. What's the matter you can't use your mirrors?
So women are not confused and they know what they want and money is not important. Do you think men are stupid? Oh wait don't answer that because of course you will say yes because I am speaking my mind and women hate it when we do that they want us to agree with everything they say which in my life time will never happen. Every women I have ever met,spoken to,friends with and dated think with their emotions so how can you tell us you're not confused? You have no idea what you want but you know you want something. Aw the fairtale romance,wake up and look around,no one has that,why doyou think they call it fairytale?
Finally I think all women are bi-polar and stupid. Now yo umight think I don't like women. On the contrary,I love women. I just don't trust them and hate it when they ask me something I've just finished telling them. The fact is women do not listen to men when we talk because they don't care what we are saying to them. Then later an arguement starts because most men do not like repeating themselves when we already talked about it.
all these things about women are true, when i meet one that is different ill be sure to let people know
Wow. Your experience with the fairer sex must leave something to be desired in your life. Sorry to read that you love women, but do not trust us. Then you say all of us ar bi-polar and stupid. That is a sad, sad opinion of EVERY woman you know.
By telling you I can relate means to my previous post.
Just another thought I am single. Oh yes ladies now comment and say I can see why. Because that is not predictable at all.
I am single because I choose to be. I am looking for someone who won't lie to me and understands honesty. Someone who can and will actually put others before themselves and someone who doesn't cheat.
Yes it looks as though I will be single until the end simply because she does not exist. I guess that is my fairytale as it were. Oh one other thing. I hate when women don't take the time to educate themselves. When they say things like, "I ain't got nothing and we should have went and it don't matter". By the way if you see nothing wrong with those phrases then you need to go back to grammar school and learn how to properly speak.
Thank you and have a nice day or sit around and get emotional cause your friend won't go out with you tonight and you need to over analyize it and ruin your entire weekend and then take it out on your boyfriend and not tell him why you're mad at him.
I'll just say this much:
#2 seems to describe you pretty well.
If you constantly are getting involved with women who are stupid (by your definition) or can't be trusted, maybe you should look at yourself to find out why.
Generalizing all women based on the bad luck you've had is, well, stupid. So it's pretty hypocritical to complain about the stupidity of others.
All of that being said, it seems like the main purpose of your post is to simply vent about the women (or, dare I say, girls) you've had such bad experiences with. Hopefully you'll eventually find someone who can prove your generalizations wrong.
That sounds familiar...Every day I have to shove my fears and worries aside and take everyone one at a time...she is not "my ex", she is not "my mother"...my experiences with hair-trigger females has made me edgy around the opposite sex-walkin' on eggshells around individuals that Dont Merit the Reaction. One at a time...we're all individuals here. Just like me shaking off the obligation to be an insensate, workaholic redneck. Yes, that's generalizing too...and whoever's dumpin' attitude on here simply means they're Frustrated. I dont drive a Truck, or act like the Last Word in Everything. I like negotiating as long as I feel equal...from Both Sides. I'm in trouble if I take too much Power, and a lap dog if I dont use any. A real realtionship takes work.
You, sir, are and idiot.
As an educated and intelligent female who is not emotional, I would like to congratulate you on your well-informed and innovative generalization of women.
You are also very logical. Your assumption that because x women you have encountered have bad grammar means every single woman in existence and formerly in existence are/have been stupid makes sense.
Your decision to stereotype all women as emotional and unintelligent is also pretty impressive. Did you come up with that yourself? Congratulations.
Now if you will excuse me, I would like to get back to taking my bi-polar medication.
i agree with techbarbie just change the damn light bulb already. I know a lot more than my husband about certain things like cars and this is unusual i am also more book smart than he is but sometimes i ask him to do little certian things to make him feel better like fix the leaky pipe under the sink even though i could take a wrench and tighten it myself or do the oil change on my car even though i know i could also do this myself i agree with these stereo types but we also want our men to feel good about them selves just like we like to d things that make us feel good about ourselves.
There are so many stereotypes for both genders. Obviously no one fits into one slot. I think with the genders you will always find some commonalities, but not exactness. I am a 38 yo mother of 5, student, can pump my own gas, fix a toilet, change the oil in my vehicle, and the serpentine belt. I am seriously outnumbered gender- wise in my house, so putting the toilet seat down is not a requirement to me. Actually, I would be happy if some of them would just remember to lift the seat WHEN they pee.....I do not believe that being able to do traditional "guy" things takes away from your femininity, I am very proud of my femininity. I love to lay under my husband's bronco with him and turn a wrench. I think being capable is a very GOOD thing, but knowing that you can lean on someone else at times is a very GOOD thing as well. Compromise is the key. Never expect a man or a woman to read yor mind, it only leads to bad things. Don't be coy, it ruins things.
You know, most articles that defend women have a strong, almost aggressive, feminist overtone to them, even bordering on anti-male. This one doesn't have that; in fact, it's actually sympathetic to why men might harbor certain beliefs about women. But what I like best about it is that it doesn't defend the women's "right" to yell, nag, insult, and generally make men's lives unpleasant. I know because I just threw a toxic friend (female) out of my life just a few days ago. She used to yell at me for hours on end, put me down in public, and gossip about me to anyone who would listen. It goes without saying that she brushed me off when I tried to talk to her about it. So now, we're no longer friends (I'll keep an eye out on my car just in case ;) ).
I find this article a load of bunk. My wife complains about burnt out light bulbs and all I can think is "If you can complain about it, YOU fix it" which seems contrary to posts here. And yes, there are more burnt out bulbs then active ones.
And if you want credit for the intelligence that you have then quit asking us to do the mundane tasks that you notice but don't want to do (see above). If you're watching TV and ask me to change a light bulb then you're telling me you're lazy.
I don't watch much TV, I know you're not my ex, you don't know everything (and neither do I so quit assuming), if you don't need to stop for directions neither do I, and yeah...whether you ladies want to admit it or not..."I have money" means a lot! So please...quit trying to say that the $$ doesn't matter because we know it does.
This "article" is nothing more than an opinionated joke...
This isn't a case where everything you read will apply to one woman...it's generalization of stereotypes that are usually directed towards women...DUH
and you're reply is an opinionated joke. just because your wife acts like that doesn't mean the rest of us do. believe it or not there are more of us with different personallities. and having just gotten out of a relationship that practicly emulated this article when it came to his behavior all i can say is it hits a spot.
These things may be true of your wife and your mom and any other woman you know, but there's a whole world of women who don't fit into your box.
And not for nothin, if money means that much, then how come I never accepted an all paid vacation from my boyfriend? Maybe I should think more like you...
Dear asd,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, but I find your comment rather intolerant of any opinion other than your own.
You don't really think it's a joke when you are the one subjected to the above experiences - repeatedly, year after year. So are my female friends and colleagues.
Although, I must say, your post actually serves as supporting proof to one of the points above - you ARE judging ALL other women based on your personal experiences with just ONE - your wife.
Besides, if she wants *you* to change those burned out light bulbs just do it already and be the hero that she expects you to be - you never know, there might be something good in it for you ;-)
Actually the only part that gives me any concern over this piece is that, yes, a lot of women know how to do a lot of stuff, and many can do it better than most guys. The difficult part on us guys is that there are still a lot of women that expect a guy to know how to be Mr. Fix-it.
In other words, us guys aren't the only ones promoting the stereo-type.
Like I said, I love a woman who knows how to play with tools and computers and such, but not all do, so I teach if they are interested. Likewise, when they have tricks and techniques I don't know I ask to be taught. But I've met a lot of women that believe that if their man can't fix the sink, doesn't own a tool-box, or can change out the alternator in their car then that man isn't man enough.
Well, I think its just like there is a part of every man that kinda likes it when he comes home from work to a clean house and a hot dinner, there is a part of many women that love seeing a dude hammer something for her.
Social stereotypes die hard.
Men have this distorted view of women and assume we're all one of the characters from Sex & The City
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I had a boyfriend who once watched me change a light bulb then commented that he would of done it, as if saying it was far to manly for me to be doing. it just made me laugh! Yes it is quite sexist that men assume what women know (or don't know), but they're over eagerness to show of how manly they are just cracks me up.
It does annoy me when men show off about money though. I'm really not interested how much they have and just find money boring. Yes it's nice to have, but I like to pay my own way, thankyou very much!
Most men still think we are dumb with little thinking power or usable grey matter.I used to keep my cars in top condition doing must of the work myself even tune-ups and brake changes ,oil / filter changes and the easy stuff under the hood. Once while in my 20's going south on Hwy 95 I saw a well dressed man on the side of the road looking inside his car trunk, I stopped and offered help ; he had a flat and didn't know how to changed it nor what his jack was supposed to look like or how to work with it. Told him I'll help but he had to do it himself, I had the brain he had the brawn . He was very happy and gave me $50.00 as a gift for the lesson. I'm also handy with power tools. I get very upset when a man treats me like I'm dumb or like if all women are alike in a nasty way if we react that way is because one of them made us that way we were not born like that.
Just the other day my husband admitted I knew more about how to set up a website...I about fell out of my chair. He is a very smart man and knows a lot about a wide range of subjects so for him to admit I know more about something made me feel great!
Yeah. I know how to fix things, change my oil, air filters, etc and I HATE IT when people assume I'm dumb.
I also know my way around a computer and just the other day I met a guy who works for the FBI in computer forensics and I was asking him some questions and he was like "How do you know about computers?"
UGH. Because I'm not stupid.
I realize that I wasn't there to hear his tone, but come on. If he worded it that way, it means he is legitimately asking how you know. He is trying to get to know you, not cast aspirations on your intelligence. I mean if he had said, "Wow, I am so surprised that you know about computers, *laugh**chuckle*." Then maybe you would have a point.
I'd also like to point out that most of the women who have responded to posts are a bit hypocritical. You say that the guy posting is basing his view of women on the ones he knows, and that it's wrong to do so. Yet, you base your entire view of men on the ones who don't think your smart.
The real kicker is that, in my opinion, men try to find someone different from their ex. Most women, on the other hand, say that they are looking for someone different, yet continue to end up with another jackass who isn't worth their time. Maybe that's why women seem to think all men are arrogant pigs. You can say that it isn't true, but it still is. Women are attracted to confidence and the most confident guys are usually a******s. This is the equation that most women seem to ascribe to:
Nice Guy (Kindness/Sensitivity/Thoughtfulness) + Confidence = Winner
But, the way they seem to go about getting this man is to find a guy with confidence and turn them into a nice guy, which I'm sure you know is a bad idea. It's much easier to find the nice guy who will care about you and instill confidence in him. After all confidence is often bred from success.
Confidence may often be bred from success, but you would have had to have fallen down at least one time and then been encouraged and determined to stand once more.
And some will hide how they really are in the beginning so that you think they are nice, but when things get comfy, the little monster appears. for those who do not, they should not change to please anyone else....change to better yourself.
Because I am Aspergers' I tend to just say the logical, reasonable things that pop into my head and then I have to "teach" myself to add the empathy part.
I had to laugh about the FBI computer forensics guy asking "how do you know about computers?" because my spontaneous answer would have been: "Are you stupid?" It wouldn't occur to me that someone - if you are in a position to actually be in a conversation with someone who is doing that job - wouldn't know about computers to some degree. My first thought would be that this man is stupid.
Why would he know about computers and someone else wouldn't? Doesn't make any sense.
Big difference between being dumb and not familiar with things. Society as a whole takes it the wrong way when someone assumes that they are not familiar with something. It is true that a lot of women are not accustomed to changing tires and oil filters.
So rightfully, a person automatically assumes the norm.
I wonder how people who DON'T know how to change tires and change oil filters feel when someone assumes they know, and they don't.
Well, I actually wouldn't even try to change a tire or oil filters unless I absolutely have to - that's why we have CAA and Mr. Lube =)
"Know everything" is more figurative than literal. It's about coming to your partner for a solution first and admitting that there are subjects on which she can share her valuable expertise rather than discard everything she suggests simply because she is a female and as such does not constitute an authority in your eyes.
