I was reading some articles here today, thinking about my own
relationships and desires, and came to wonder, "Does that perfect,
old-fashioned romance still exist on this Earth?" I used to think so.
In fact, I would enjoy nothing more than meeting someone, really
hitting it off, and enjoying a traditional, "wooing your partner" type
of relationship. Not having to jump in bed on the second date. Not
having to think about marriage on the first.
I, like many of you, have been damaged by my negative
experiences with relationships in the past, and so I have mostly
dismissed the idea that I could ever enter a perfect, or even a positive,
relationship. So, needless to say, the idea of an old-fashioned,
getting to know you, friends first relationship is so far removed from
my dreams, that it is practically only a memory.
What causes a person to feel this way? Is it destiny? Past
disappointment? Or is this a day and age where one shouldn't expect
such things to begin with? Obviously, values, culture, and gender
roles have changed dramatically over the past fifty years. Am I living
on someone else's dream, a relative from the distant past, only seen in
a black and white photograph? Is it my place in this world to be
disappointed if I don't have this type of relationship, or my foolishness in continuing to ponder the idea? Or has my patience simply run out of time?
For me, in the worst possible scenario, I continue living in a pipe
dream, never reaching the end but always feeling the pain of yearning
for something that I cannot have. In the best possible
scenario, perhaps I am closer to my wishes and desires than I know. I
always feel best taking the path I know is right for me, whether I take
it alone or with someone else. Right now, this is the path I will be
on, and the only one I can take.