Heartbreak

Men Really Like Morning Sex

Women, on behalf of all men everywhere, we have a request: more unplanned morning sex.

Don't get me wrong, the nooner is outstanding. Samesies afternoon delight. We love spending all day in bed with you. And we're frickin' psyched when you jump us in an unexpected, possibly semi-public place. But getting nasty before we break the fast-y is a real treat. It has us walking a little taller all day long. Other guys will recognize a certain spring in our step and envy us. 

I know, I know, you took a shower last night, you value your workweek sleep (who doesn't?) and you don't necessarily feel your sexiest in the morning—things like morning breath, sleep in your eyes and puffiness that really deserves cucumber slices (or Prep H) make you feel less than your best. Trust me, we still want to jump your bones.

You say "meh," but team anatomy would like to stand tall and disagree. You may attribute morning petrifaction to an autonomic exercise by the circulatory system (or even a dream featuring Lynda Carter). Maybe yes, maybe no. Is it really our place to question such serendipity? Intelligent design has provided one of the strongest arguments for morning sex. Read: 55-Hour Erections Are Not Fun

Once you've decided on a little early action, there are a few things to keep in mind. If you wake up at your normal time, the operation is going to delay your typical program a little while, so here are a few short cuts.

  1. Foreplay will be minimal. As a guy, he'll likely agree to this.
  2. No kissing, if you're a little sensitive about AM halitosis. He'll think it's exotic.
  3. No mess. He should, um, finish in a way that does not necessitate any additional washing of your person or linens. This is a good way to show off his athleticism. (Note: If you're an AM shower-er, you can forego this item.)
  4. Time limit. Sure, putting a time limit on anything really hurts the spontaneity; then again, you have to get to the office. And so does he. Hustle up, buttercup. Read: The Joy Of The Quickie

I don't know much, but I do know that guys dig unexpected nookie. Plus, it can inspire some pretty outstanding reciprocity.

Any thoughts on AM delight? When else do you like surprise sex?