Why it happens and what, if anything, to do about it.
The results of the man survey (otherwise known as Askmen.com's Great Male Survey) are in. And they have given us a rare, coveted glimpse into the male psyche. One of the questions, in particular, piqued our interest. It's semi cheating-related and reads as follows: "Have you ever fantasized about a girlfriend or wife's friend?"
The results were tallied as follows:
* A whopping 43% of male respondents said yes they had in the past, but that they try to restrain themselves.
* A sizable 26% said yes...regularly.
* Not far behind, 23% said no, no interest.
* And lastly 8% said, no, but due to active restraint.
This got us thinking. Would we consider it cheating if our guy had sexual thoughts about one of our friends? If he did have such fantasies would we want to know or would we not need to know? Tricky territory this is, to be sure. We tried to reverse the equation. Hmm, are there friends of our guy's that we have occasionally thought of... in that way?
The real deal was that no there weren't and we had not. These men, our guy's friends, his comrades, seemed to fall into this unique category. Somehow they were all boyish and puckish to us, they were the pranksters that could elbow our guy into pulling ridiculous stunts at bachelor parties along side them. When we're interested in a guy it's just him that we see. (Check out some male-inspired commentary from Asylum.com to see the guys' take on the stats here).
Still, occasional thoughts may creep in about other men. There are even occasions when a couple breaks up after just a few months of dating and years later one of the exes gets together with a friend of the other ex. These things happen. Cheating Myths Debunked
When you're in a serious relationship (or even dating) you typically spend a lot of time with your partner's closest friends (or at least you see them regularly even if you don't spend quality time together). Familiarity can spark curiosity and lustful thoughts may crop up.
But this is not cheating. Thoughts about a partner's friends are only deceitful and hurtful if they are acted upon. Of course, we'd prefer our guy not think about other women at all. But we're all only human and we know minds can have a way of wandering. If indeed he does happen to think about one of our friends in that way for a fleeting moment or two, we'd rather not know about it.
Readers, are you with us here?