Should you break up before the relationship becomes long-distance?
The discussion of the trials and tribulations of long-distance relationships is not a new one. Some swear a couple can survive the distance while others refuse to entertain the possibility that two people can stay connected when there is significant mileage between them. I used to be a bit of a compulsive long-distance dater. My first two serious relationships were with British boys, which would soon later develop into a habit of only getting involved with foreign guys. Until recently I never questioned if getting involved in a relationship which is destined to be mostly long-distance was a good idea. In my mind, if I was in love it would be sheer madness not to stay together. If true love can overcome death in The Princess Bride than of course it can overcome a minor issue such as distance. A few years and broken hearts later, I am not so sure. Watch: How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship (LDR)
Maybe I will meet someone, maybe he will, but it seems inevitable that one of us will find someone else. Even if we don't meet someone 'better,' isn't it likely that we will fall for someone closer by, if only to fill the loneliness and human craving for companionship?
None of my long-distance relationships ever ended because of distance, but rather that the distance highlighted other issues or magnified other problems that would have come up later. The distance was actually the only reason some of my relationships lasted as long as they did. The time and commitment a boyfriend takes was not something I was ready for full-time in college. The one time I did have an on-campus boyfriend was disastrous. I was terrible at spending so much time together and trying to balance time with him, time with friends, time for work and, most especially, time for myself. Long-distance relationships enabled me to have the best of both worlds with extra goodies, like frequent excuses to go to the U.K. and amazing accents. Read: How To Make Long-Distance Love Work
Now that I am a bit older and about to embark on a new life journey (grad school in Scotland) I find myself less enthusiastic about entering into a long-distance relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for a year, and that's exactly the amount of time I will be away, a year. As if the geographic distance isn't enough, he isn't even American in the first place. He hails from far, far away, for the moment let's call it the Land of Oz, and while I am from New York and not Kansas, the distance is about the same. We met in America, but neither will be calling it home for the near future, or maybe ever. I will be in Scotland while he is in the U.S., but once I return from Scotland he is thinking of going back to Oz. Where and when do we find each other again? How do we ever cross paths once more when it was a chance miracle that we stumbled across each other in the first place? Watch: How To Embrace A Long-Distance Relationship
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Written by Ali Jawin for The Frisky.
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