I have been wanting to blog about something that has been really gnawing at me for the past few days...I want to know (in your opinion) if deleting a profile on a social-networking site or having access to your partner's page helps or hurts a relationship. A female coworker and I cornered a male coworker of ours last week and grilled him about a few things, including deleting his MySpace and Facebook profiles...We'll start out with some background:
So, this guy is kind of a "ladies man," he's attractive, fit, intelligent, and has a good career. He has dated tons of women and his friends call him a "90-day wonder" because majority of his relationships don't last beyond 3-months. He meets this woman, who by some accounts he met significantly prior to coming to work with us, she was married for over 10 years, has two children from that marriage, and is self-proclaimed "sassy." The two of them had been "talking," she left her husband, and apparently the two bickered back and forth over stupid things...then out of seemingly nowhere the two start exclusively dating and we notice that both his and her MySpace and Facebook accounts were deleted. When confronted...
He says that the two of them made the decision to delete their profiles, that they were considering creating one "together," or if they were separate each would have the other's login information. He says that since they deleted their accounts their relationship has "grown" and they fight less often. He claims he loves her and wants to be in this relationship for a while.
I stop him and proclaim that I must throw a "bullsh*t flag" on the play.
I stated that I believed the reason they deleted their profiles is because neither trusted the other. I told him, you can not go into a relationship not trusting your partner, he says I don't understand. He says that in the past he's left his profiles listed as "single" when he was seeing someone or had comments on his pages that were inappropriate when he was in a relationship.
I call another bullsh*t flag.
I tell him that was a state of mind, an attitude, an action...that if he wanted to change his casanova ways he could, without deleting his profile. I proclaimed that I'd never deleted an account because I started dating someone. If you're seeing someone and want to be faithful, then do that, but you don't have to delete your profile on social networking sites to be faithful.
I'm just wondering what other people think about whether or not you should delete your profile on MySpace or Facebook when you start dating someone...and whether or not you believe that this helps your relationship.
Personally, I don't think it does. I think it's a front and a cover because you don't trust your partner if you have to delete said profiles when you're seeing someone. I also don't think that you should need access to your partner's accounts whether social networking, email, or messenger. I may be somewhat old fashioned when it comes to certain things, (and wild on others, haha) but I believe that trust is a basic foundation of any relationship.
And one last little blurb: I hate "we" pages or couple's profiles...because I believe in "my friends," "your friends," and "our friends." For instance, I am friends with him, but I dislike the girl he's dating (long story), therefore, I wouldn't want her to have access to my profile via a "we" page or by having his login information.