How Loving A Boy Band Shaped My Life
A childhood crush on a New Kid turned me into a journalist and led me to New York.
I just celebrated my first birthday as a married woman. But instead of enjoying a romantic dinner with my husband, I was at sea with a long-lost crush who re-entered my life last year. My husband knows about him, and gave me his blessing to go with him on the three-day cruise to the Bahamas. He actually met the guy once, at a club on Canal Street six years ago. He's been supportive of this reunion, even when I came home giddy from a night out with him, or when I flew to Portland, Maine, in March for a spring rendezvous.
My husband says he understands that this man was in my life long before the two of us met. He knows we have history. But more than anything, he didn't mind me sailing off into the sunset with the guy because we weren't alone. Far from it. Joe brought four of his buddies along on the cruise. And a bunch of other women. Two thousand of them, all just like me.
The other man is Joe McIntyre, one of the New Kids on the Block. Yes, that pop group from the '80s. The boy band that begat Backstreet, 'N Sync, and the Jonas Brothers. But this is not a story about being a groupie. I am not a slut, a sad sack, or a stalker. And yet, the most obvious word for what I am—"fan"—doesn't seem to cut it. Fan doesn't encompass the way these five men have influenced my career, my ideas of love, and even my move to the United States.
Growing up in Australia, plenty of women had teenage crushes on American celebrities. Most faded. Only in the most extreme case does one ever marry their heartthrob, a la TomKat. While I didn't end up on Oprah, blushing because Joe jumped up and down on a couch over me, I did wind up in America with the love of my life—my husband—and I wonder if my New Kids-related reveries weren't partly responsible for getting me here.
Before New Kids, my friends and I had crushes on boys in higher grades, guys who never gave us the time of day. These five guys from Boston didn't know who we were either, but they appeared on our TV screens professing their love for their fans. They were young enough to still be in school, and if only we lived in America, maybe we'd have a chance with them. The New Kids never gave us the feeling that it was impossible.
They protected me from heartbreak, my infatuation ruling out any entanglements with flesh and blood teenaged boys pulsing with life and scary hormones. (My mother was thrilled, and happy to fuel my New Kids obsession with more T-shirts and posters.) Even after I went through my bad-boy stage, I returned to my teenage vision of my ideal man: a cute, funny, music-loving guy who would adore me, even if he didn't have the fancy footwork or falsetto of my first crush. Poll: What's The Best Song To Let Him Know You Want Him?
Discussion
I took this a bit further and literally tried to convince my friends that I knew Justin Timberlake. I have no idea why I did that. Between obsession and attention, at least I can admit it? I don't feel the same way I did before. When I see Justin now it's "eh" but I'll always treasure the 100 chapter story I wrote about our life together.
Nice to know Im not alone in this whole reunion thing. Now to get my OH to read this and let him know Im acting quite 'normal' lol.
I love the idea that these "safe" crushes in a way helped save us from a messiness we weren't prepared for. I knew tons of friends who were obsessed with NKOTB and I even had a friend who had a semi-altar to Leonardo DiCaprio (candles, pictures, the works). I missed the boat on these celebrity crushes, because I was obsessed with my literary crushes(Oh Thomas Hardy...how you spoke to my adolescent soul). But the point is the same. Our crushes, helped shape us, mold us and save us, and I don't think the objects of our prepubescent affection will ever quite appreciate what they as a symbol mean to us.
Reading this article takes me back 2 what it felt like when I loved them so. For many,it shapes U into knowing what is fantasy & what is reality. I'll always have a special place in my heart for the Beantown boys,til the day I die!
Great job,Rebecca!
peace & blessings,
Ursula
If I would have lived in Australia when I was 10, Rebecca Wallwork would have been my best friend. This essay says it all, and it's true, childhood crushes can actually be really positive in shaping a girl for her womanhood. I hadn't really thought of it that way before.
NP, I figured I might find you here. You're my childhood-crush Siamese twin. Just lay off Jon Bon Jovi -- that one's all mine.
I 100% agree with this article. I have been to, oh, 4 concerts since they came back last year. My friends have gone to further extremes like camping out at The Today Show just to see them. I still have my Joey doll, the NKOTB novels, a tape with the NKOTB cartoon and, of course, the sheets.
I really blame them for my attraction to Irish guys and men with Boston accents. That kills me as a life-long Yankee fan, but they are wicked awesome.
