5 Things My Husband Hates About Marriage
A husband sounds off on his top five pet peeves of marriage.
After my brutally honest essay, "The Five Things I Hate About Marriage," Adam has finally prepared his rebuttal. Here are the five things my husband hates about marriage.
1. Bathroom sharing. He seems to take issue with my hair. Yes, it is long. Yes, it is dark. Yes, he loves to run his fingers through it. But he does not like to see it in his brush, in the sink, on the floor, and in the shower. He also does not seem to understand why I need to keep an artillery of products on the counter, poised and ready for combat, at all times. Are a round brush, a vent brush, three combs, and 15 different types of leave-in conditioner all really necessary? "And why do you need both a flat iron and a curling iron to be plugged in at the same time?" he asked me the other day, completely bewildered. "What's the meaning of life?" I responded, knowing that neither question could ever really be answered. Read: Sharing a Bathroom? Cohabitation Tips
2. Bed sharing. According to Adam, he is getting a lot of action in bed, and it comes in a variety of ways. Whether his covers are getting ripped off, or his pillows are getting pulled out from under him, he can always count on me to suddenly arouse him from the deepest sleep. Speaking of getting aroused... "When is the best time to initiate sex?" he recently inquired. My answer: Not when I am tired, sleeping, writing, doing yoga, having PMS, having my period, ovulating, or feeling fat. It's really not that complicated, is it?
3. Nonstop compromise. Adam grew up eating fast food, Chinese take-out, and Hostess and Nabisco snacks. I am an organic, mostly vegetarian type who hates anything processed. Shortly after we were married, I unceremoniously threw out his Wonder Bread, Ding Dongs, and Ritz crackers in one fell swoop. He didn't know whether to slowly stab me to death or sit shivah. "I cannot live in a house with Wonder Bread!" I declared. End of discussion. "This is called compromise?" he asked me, as he tried to choke down a piece of whole grain cardboard. Sharing Space: How to Merge Your Styles
4. Civility during PMS. Granted, I feel bloated, my breasts hurt, I'm tearful, and my clothes don't fit. But Adam would like to set the record straight: He is not responsible for my condition. "So, please, please, please stop blaming me," he begged, when I interviewed him on this topic. "Just go into isolation and eat your chocolate chips and peanut butter and let me be." Red Alert! Warn Your Man PMS Is Back
Discussion
Not every guy is this way. I actually have to constantly remind my GF to close the lid on the toilet so that my confused cat (I swear he thinks he is a dog) doesn't drink out of the bowl. My parents have a bathroom with 2 sinks, so the counter space is never an issue...she still hasn't taught him to spread open the curtain after showering though...
The author may be just too harsh with how she is broaching the subject...you and your man will find a way so long as you both remain willing to work at it!
Yeah, marriage is a lot more fun if you do compromise sometimes.
Although I confess, my hubby and I have never resolved the issue of covers. He claims I pull them off him while we sleep. I say he rolls around a lot and pushes them off himself. He's never seen me pull of the covers, has he? They don't all end up on my side of the bed when I sleep alone. Maybe someday we'll put in a camera and find out the truth.
ahh, the blanket coccoon!! I do this as well!! without even noticing it half the time... our solution, two blankets! It might look stupid when we make the bed in the morning, but he is snuggled in his coccoon and I am snuggled in mine... and when the mood strikes at 2am, nothing is more arousing than feeling a hand slip under your covers knowing that it was definitely intentional (not just him/her rolling and flopping around trying to get more room on the bed!).
