I spent the better part of the morning just sitting here reading through some of the community blogs on this site. Some offer such fantastic insight and some were amazingly well thought out. Some offered humor and others...just made you sad. These blogs offer a reader the chance to sit back and reflect upon their own situation, sometimes you connect, sometimes you don't.
However what I found disturbing this morning were those blogs where someone has cryed out for help and no ones commented. I must confess that even I passed more then a few of those blogs up myself, and I've thought about that all day. I know we're not here to address, or solve everyones problems, and even my own blog is here solely for the purpose of venting. I haven't recieved any comments either but I really wasn't expecting any. So why did those calls for help stick in my mind all day?
I'd be lying if I said that I didn't see myself in the same frantic situations as some of them. In others I couldn't even relate but I felt their depair. Have I hardened myself so much through the years that other peoples plight no longer matter? I'd hate to think that was true.
So I sit and wonder, pondering my response or lack of, and I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't that I didn't care. It was knowing that no matter what advise or opinion I might have for them it would fall on deaf ears. I could talk until I was blue in the face and they wouldn't hear. Whomever said love was blind knows what I'm talking about.
How many times did family and friends give me advise, or warn me, and I failed to hear? Blinded and deafened by the belief I was in love, that he loved me... the whole insanity of it all. The not knowing how to get out of the situation, the fear, the self doubt, the lack of self-esteem binding me to my fate like iron chains. The depression, the tears, the heartache breaking my soul until I felt like I couldn't take another breath. The dispair, grief, the loneliness swallowed whole and turning in my stomache like stones.
I had to get turned inside out before I could hear and it was my own voice that broke the chains. My own voice that pulled me up by my boot strings and slapped my face. I had to tell myself I was better then this! I deserved better then this! I AM SOMEBODY!!
I'm waiting for them to hear their own voice and I pray they find it.