10 Dating Mindsets Sabotaging Your Love Life

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dating advice
A new book helps you overcome potential dating pitfalls.

It's easy to lose yourself over a man, but what if it happens before you even meet him? Ill-fated past relationships may have already warped your dating personality and consequently sabotaged your future with someone else. Read: Why He Dumped You: 5 Potential Reasons

In her latest book, Ms. Typed: Discover Your True Dating Personality and Rewrite Your Romantic Future, Dr. Michelle Callahan says she has the cure for women whose dating characteristics no longer accurately reflect who they truly are. The seasoned psychologist has formulated 10 dating archetypes that women fall into after too many relationships gone wrong:

 

Ms. Second Place: The accommodating, eager-to-please dater who eventually ends up playing second fiddle to her man's career, hobbies or even wife. This chronic "settler" has lost sight of her self-worth after too many relationships in which she gives way to his needs every time. As a result, she suffers from low confidence and low expectations.

How she might have got here: "Men you've dated may have tried to convince you that you should go along with whatever they wanted, otherwise they wouldn't date you." Read: The Settling Debate

Ms. Sex Machine: This woman is Sex and The City's Samantha Jones in a nutshell. She uses sex for fun, for control, for everything except a healthy relationship. She brings in the physical before she is ready for the emotional and ends up attracting the type of men who will only treat her like a booty call.

How she might have got here: "You and your friends' earliest dating experiences with boys were sexual. And you grew to expect that sex would be an early and required part of all dating relationships."

Ms. Soul Mate: She is the idealist after watching peers getting hitched before her. Ms. Soul Mate dates as if every man could be "the one," and is so determined to settle down, she insists on commitment too soon. After a failed relationship, she is often struck with dread that an ex might have been "the one."

How she might have got here: "You grew up fantasizing about the day when you would be able to start your own family. Then you could get the love and affection you may have missed as a child, or you could finally be the most important person in someone's life."