I've done enough internet dating to write a litany about it, and of all the concerns most bothersome and dreary, the promise of meeting an honest person is usually the biggest disappointment of all. What does it mean to be honest when a person is about to meet a complete stranger, and vice versa? This is what it boils down to, and when we step back for a moment and contemplate out own experiences with internet dating, it's interesting to note that the one thing that is always true about it is that we are strangers to each other. That other person is always a stranger, no matter how the telephone or email conversations went, and no matter how good we feel about the person we are about to meet. One other thing is guaranteed, and that is to say that it's always a surprise to meet somebody face to face for the first time, and usually but not always, a disappointing surprise.
It usually has a lot to do with the pictures a person chooses to depict oneself. It becomes such a boring argument to hear over and over that the picture doesn't matter. Well, it does. At least at first it does. If a person is lucky enough to get past a few dates with the same person to get to know who that person is under the skin, only then does the picture matter little. Think about it. You are going to have to meet the person on the other end of the phone, eventually, if you mean business. What useful purpose will it serve you if the picture you choose doesn't even resemble what you look like in real life? Does that sound cruel?
If you think that then think about the way the person you just met feels. I'll tell you what, it's not a very good feeling.
I've heard of people actually walking away from dates when the picture doesn't match. In fact I've heard it often. In my own experience, I don't walk away from a woman. I try to make the best of the few moments that I just decided it will be with the other person, then I say good-bye and good luck. Being a gentlemen and a genuinely nice guy, I'll usually offer something like a drink or sometimes even a meal, and some friendly conversation. To me it's important to understand that even your soon to be forever forgotten date is a human being with feelings, and I try my best not to hurt them, even if the picture is ten, twenty something years old and ten or twenty something or more pounds in person. Another pet peeve for me is when a person's profile states that she is younger than she really is. Does age really matter ? It does when your dishonest about it, and the same goes for the picture.