Can The Millionaire Matchmaker Help Me Find Love?
Reading Patti Stanger's book and putting the matchmaker's dating advice to the test.
When it came to my dating life, I wasn't sure I should listen to Patti Stanger, host of Bravo's The Millionaire Matchmaker and author of the book Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate. Could someone hoisting a gold, ruby-encrusted Cupid's arrow on her book cover, whose ample bosom was jammed into a white Liberace pantsuit, help me, an outdoorsy New Yorker with an A cup seeking a sweet, humble, non-cologne wearing guy with no roommates?
I was doubtful. But as an early thirties lady swinging and missing on the New York dating scene, I figured, "What have you got to lose, Singles McGonigle?" See if she's got some news you can use.
So I did. The first thing she suggests is a 30–90 day "dating detox" of attitude adjustment, positive thoughts, demon tackling and absolutely no dates (I was way ahead of the game at 53 days and counting). During this phase, Patti recommends getting lost in a favorite book, a long hot bath, listening to happy music, taking a class, cleaning house and petting something furry. All which caused me to think, "Seriously, Pats? Reading and scratching a dog's back are gonna make me more dateable?" Dating Detox: I Took A 3-Year Break From Men
Her point is that when you stop pining for an imaginary "him" and start focusing on you, you'll automatically be happier and more ready to meet someone; you'll be in a place of confidence, not neediness. So, I suspended my jaded New Yorker disbelief and dove into her "quick, happy fixes." I purged my belongings, divesting myself of frayed, Easter egg pink handbags purchased in Chinatown for $10, a Garth Brooks CD and some unfortunate pants that earned me the nickname "Shoehorn" (as in, I needed one to get in them). I meditated, soaked in bubbles and rubbed the head of a French bulldog named Zooey. I even erased texts from my last relationship false start, the ones that said "How are you my dear?" and "I enjoyed speaking with you today, Scorpio Sarah." The Healthy Way To Get Over A Breakup
Next, it was time for step two, the outer self. On the subject of hair, Patti advises point-blank, "short, pixie cuts are considered mannish or over the hill," and "men don't want to get their fingers snagged in scraggly, pubic-looking bird's nests." Ouch. But what good is a yenta who sugar coats the truth? Luckily, I've grown out my man-do and located the appropriate frizz-taming product for my curls. I also met her criteria in the categories of teeth (straight and white), lips (not so big they are the first thing people notice about my face), makeup (not much) and skin care (thank you, Dr. Perricone and ClariSonic vibrating face brush).
Discussion
I watch the MM show on Bravo on occasion, and I do like Patty and the advice she gives on the show to her clients and their potential dates. However, I haven't found time to finish a book in a long time, so I have just stopped buying them. I think that everyone is different when it comes to attracting their partner and keeping him or her...but these are good tips.
Sarah, Matchmaker Wonderwoman does make some good points - I know that when I was recovering from someone, I did focus on ME. I also got into fung shui and started to paint my world with pink (romantic love color). I grew pink roses on my patio (those small ones), I redecorated my house, I started getting comfortable with me. I pampered me with long hot baths accompanied by candlelight and a glass of wine, and made sure that I ate something. (The "I got dumped diet" really is God's way of getting you in shape to attract your next one). That recovery "me" time is critical, because I DID feel good about me.
But, yes, I agree w/ Lzy that it takes more than one shot at it. And, what I discovered is that sitting in a bar more than likely you're going to attract an alcoholic. Check your local listings - find activities that you enjoy doing and go to them. Cooking classes are fun and if you have a nearby Williams Sonoma, they usually offer them. Art galleries, football games (during season). I rented my nephews a couple of times under the guise of baby sitting, and met some wonderful single dads at a soccer match (do you have a friend that will let you rent a kid?). Yes, you DO need to be comfortable with YOU, and comfortable doing things alone. Give it another try. The M.M. has some good points, pick and choose which ones might work best for you. Keep posting your progress! :-)
