Italian PM Demands Apology For His Philandering

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silvio berlusconi
A girlfriend on the side may bring down the Silvio Berlusconi empire.

It looks like Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's ego's may have finally written a check his ass can't cash. It's been a good run though. First off, there was that business about him being a member of some Masonic group that allegedly wanted to make Italy more authoritarian. Then there was that bribery business with some UK solicitors. After which, he was recorded on wiretap orchestrating the political downfall of a rival (possibly using a honey pot). And on top of all that has been supposed links to nefarious figures (the Mafia doesn't really exist, does it?) and myriads of accusations of conflicts of interest (particularly by Tomfoolery favorite The Economist). Guess how much of this icky-sticky has clung to the Sinister Minister? Niente.

But that run of Teflon may be in serious jeopardy due to the most recent situation. Per the New York Times, Silvio Berlusconi (72 years young) is being divorced by wife Veronica Lario, who is twenty years his junior.

In order to get the upper hand in the hot divorce action (from a moral and a monetary standpoint), Veronica Lario has told Italian media that the Prime Minister has a roving eye (lower) and a particular appreciation (hankering) for very young ladies. Berlusconi, a fan of metaphorically fighting fire with fire, has demanded an apology from his estranged wife and told the media that he may never be able to forgive her.

Classic misdirection on Berlusconi's part. When in doubt, turn it around. Ever delinquent high school student knows this trick, admit nothing and turn it back on the other person. But no teenage dirtbags have the Prime Minister's polish or hutspa. Even Shaggy (think "It Wasn't Me") can't touch Berlusconi. But, per the New York Post, the Crocodile Hunter of truth may soon catch up with The Caiman (il Caimano). According to the Post, Berlusconi recently attended the 18th birthday party of supposed girlfriend-on-the-side Noemi Letizia and gave the stunner a pricey necklace of gold and diamonds. He later made the somewhat dubious claim that he was merely a friend of her father (though he didn't mention him by name, hmm). 

He had this to say about the entire clusterfudge, "Would the Prime Minister be so crazy to get into a situation like that?" If only Bill Clinton had used this convoluted logic rather than spar about the definition of the passive verb "is." Read Sex Tapes Of Carla Bruni Stolen, May Sell

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