I had a date last week. It was my first real date since opening my marriage; it’s practically the only real date I’ve ever been on. (Husband took me to a coffee shop for our “first date” in college, but since we had already hooked up, it didn’t feel like a date.)
I met the guy on the internet the week before, and we met in real life while I was out with friends last weekend. He seemed very cool, and I was immediately attracted to him, so it seemed reasonable to continue with a legitimate social excursion. We met up for dinner and drinks last Thursday, had great conversation, and walked around some of the tourist attractions downtown. He kissed me a few times, and then we parted ways.
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And now I haven’t heard from him, and I am freaking out like a girl.
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I’ve never really dated, and I certainly haven’t had these experiences recently, so I suppose it’s fair that I feel a bit out of my element and a little confused. But if the date went well, why hasn’t he contacted me? It seems like a simple enough equation. Date good = set up next date. Yes? No? It would seem entire vaults of material have been written about this dilemma, but I have always ignored dating articles, advice, and chick flicks because, hey, these things don’t concern me, right? I landed my man years ago, so I am set for life...Oops.
In my confusion, I am reaching for media-familiar scripts: he’s not calling because something went wrong. He’s not calling because I was a bad kisser. He’s not calling because he was bored on our date and I didn’t notice. He’s not calling because he’s just not that into me. I cannot believe I am thinking this way, but I don’t know how to escape it. I wish I could shrug and say, “Okay, whatever, who’s next?” But I really liked the guy, and I want him to follow up. Don’t I at least deserve a straightforward, “Hey, you know, I’m just not into married chicks right now”? I’d buy that.