On the Market

Love, Self

I had a date last week. It was my first real date since opening my marriage; it’s practically the only real date I’ve ever been on. (Husband took me to a coffee shop for our “first date” in college, but since we had already hooked up, it didn’t feel like a date.)

I met the guy on the internet the week before, and we met in real life while I was out with friends last weekend. He seemed very cool, and I was immediately attracted to him, so it seemed reasonable to continue with a legitimate social excursion. We met up for dinner and drinks last Thursday, had great conversation, and walked around some of the tourist attractions downtown. He kissed me a few times, and then we parted ways.

And now I haven’t heard from him, and I am freaking out like a girl.

I’ve never really dated, and I certainly haven’t had these experiences recently, so I suppose it’s fair that I feel a bit out of my element and a little confused. But if the date went well, why hasn’t he contacted me? It seems like a simple enough equation. Date good = set up next date. Yes? No? It would seem entire vaults of material have been written about this dilemma, but I have always ignored dating articles, advice, and chick flicks because, hey, these things don’t concern me, right? I landed my man years ago, so I am set for life...Oops.

In my confusion, I am reaching for media-familiar scripts: he’s not calling because something went wrong. He’s not calling because I was a bad kisser. He’s not calling because he was bored on our date and I didn’t notice. He’s not calling because he’s just not that into me. I cannot believe I am thinking this way, but I don’t know how to escape it. I wish I could shrug and say, “Okay, whatever, who’s next?” But I really liked the guy, and I want him to follow up. Don’t I at least deserve a straightforward, “Hey, you know, I’m just not into married chicks right now”? I’d buy that.


Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
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