Why do marriages break up?
I know so many people with failed marriages. What is going on?
I am obviously looking at marriage differently, lately, and one of the reasons is because our best friends of over 15 years (they've been married for 8 years) are separating. It has blown my mind that they don't love each other anymore and that they can't do anything to save their marriage. If they had an open marriage, would this have happened? I know sex was a big issue because she wasn't into it, and he was, and he has basically shut down because of it. What if he had been free to pursue sex with other women, but still be happy at home? My husband is helping him move out this Saturday and they are telling their 5 year old kids the same day. We used to spend every weekend with them. They seemed to get along and have fun when we were there, but I guess day-to-day life is what killed their marriage.
My other best friend said she hasn't felt "in love with her husband in over a year. My husband's sister kicked her husband out of the house last year for 4 months. A couple we know just got done with a nasty divorce. A girl I play volleyball with hasn't had sex with her husband since December, and she loves sex and wishes she could have it every day. These are all people that seemed so in love on their wedding days. So what, exactly, is going on? Why are divorce rates so high in the US?
Discussion
I don't think it's a good idea to try to use polyamory to save relationships with problems anymore than you should have kids to save a marriage. I can't imagine it working. I am not polyamorous, but I think it should be a positive choice people make about how they want to live their lives.
When a couple gets tied up in knots over sex, part of the issue is does the person who doesn't want me still love me? Getting sex elsewhere won't solve that. The other side of the coin is why does he/she have to push me to have sex.? Going outside to get sex could be felt as the ultimate pressure tactic.
I don't know the answers to your real questions, though. It's heartbreaking to see people giving up on love.
Wow I guess al i can say on this is marriage changes things ALOT. Well in my experience anyways. My husband was a different person when we got married, and alomst as soon as he felt like i could handle the world he stopped doing everything. And i mean that literally. On the outside I look fine, on the inside i was crushed. And then when the lying began the trust became broken and the anger turned the love i had into something else. Now I just don't know anymore
