One year wedding anniversary, what?
So I wanted to write this blog the day that it happened, but I needed a bit to attempt to get over it. I am not sure if I am overreacting, but my heart is just completely broken. Our one year wedding anniversary was on Friday the 20th of March. I could not for the life of me figure out what my husband wanted, but a few months ago he mentioned something about wanting a new wedding band because the one he had was kind of heavy on his fingers. So about four months ago I went out looking for a new wedding band and found the perfect one. So I bought it along with a really romantic card and had kept it hid until that Friday. Well Friday comes around and I spent all day cleaning the house so he could come straight home and we could celebrate without any other worries that weekend. He calls me on the way home from work to tell me he is going to the gym. I thought maybe he was just saying that to bring a surprise home for me.. turns out he forgot all about our ONE year anniversary. He really did go to the gym. I spent two hours getting ready, fixing my hair just right, putting on the new black dress I bought for the nice dinner I thought I had coming, and setting out his new band and card. He finally gets home, with a bag of Mc Donald's for dinner. I asked him what was going on, he said " Why are you all dressed up?" I handed him the card, and the band, and he apologized for forgetting. Soon after he just hopped in the shower, and said to me "Well I am sorry hun, I am really tired." He went straight to bed. I acted like it didn't bother me, but it has me completely tore up inside. I don't know what to do anymore? We didn't even have anniversary sex. Has this EVER happened to anyone else!? And to be completely honest.. I would have been so happy to just recieve some roses and have a sweet night at home.. UGH! A week later and I am still mad as hell.
Discussion
oh yeah...that is a bad one. He should have at least felt ashamed for MISSING THE ANNIVERSARY and gone overboard to make it up to you. I freaked out on my husband when for our third anniversary he put off planning our little getaway until the LAST MOMENT and we had to scramble to plan. I was all "THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME SO IT SHOULD BE IMPORTANT TO YOU!"
And while I might have tweaked just a little. I regret nothing. Really, the more you sit on this the more you are going to stew and get angry. Sit him down one night and tell him how hurt and upset you are. How much it meant to you and how deeply he hurt you. Stay calm and go at it from the standpoint that it was something special and his indifference hurt you and you hope you can do something belatedly to make up for it. Be sure to emphasize that its special because you love him and want to celebrate that. I find that's the best way to make my husband understand why I get my feelings hurt over things like that. He just looks at them a different way than I do. And he's not wrong, but what is wrong is being insensitive to what you think and feel. But he can't guess your feelings and you have to outline exactly how and why you feel what you do and what you would like for a make-up celebration. Spell it out.
