New to Polyamory and Open Marriage

New to Polyamory and Open Marriage
Love, Sex

My marriage has recently changed.  My husband let me sleep with another man, and it was wonderful.  I want him to have the same opportunity to sleep with another woman as well.  It's interesting how you can be brought up to believe certain things about marriage and have them all blown out of the water when you actually get married.  

We haven't always had an open mindset.  When we first started dating we got into a fight about me flirting with another guy too much while he was away for the summer, and I hated the girl he used to have a crush on when he was running in Track.  After 13 years of being together, though, things change, I guess.

The psychology of our marriage became closer to being opened when we went on a trip with a group of our friends about 5 years ago (2 years into our marriage).  There was a girl Diana that used to joke with me to our guy friends that we would make out with each other because we'd both had sex with girls before.  They didn't believe us, so when we were there we got drunk and started making out.  The guys thought it was a riot, but the girls were a little freaked out, I think.  Later that night one of the girls came running up to me all upset and told me that my husband, Karl, was in the corner making out with Diana.  I thought about it for a second.  Why should I be upset about that?  Did I really want to be a drama queen that caused a scene at the bar over something that essentially wasn't really a big deal?  I said "So!  I made out with her, too!"  And actually, but the end of the night we were both kissing her at the same time!  It was a wild weekend, but nothing came of it after we left.  She was married, too, so I think she felt a little guilty about it.

When Bob moved in next door, I thought he was the sexiest guy I'd met in a long time.  He had other roommates and we all hung out together all the time.  My husband liked him and hung out with him, too.  I was always flirting with Bob, and it was no secret that I wanted to sleep with him, but no one thought I was serious, and maybe I wasn't, until Karl brought it up seriously one night with me when we were in bed.  He was the one who said he wanted me to sleep with Bob.  I told Bob about it the next day, and I don't think he believed me until Karl said something to him about it that weekend.  Bob was floored!  I think it freaked him out a little bit, but he was a young guy, so he was open to being adventurous.  We had sex about a month ago, and now we're friends - really close friends - but I dont' know where to go from here.  I want to sleep with him again, but I don't think Karl wants me to.  He wanted it to be more of a fling - like swinging - but I think I'm polyamorous and I grew close to Bob and I like being around him.

We'll see where this takes us, what an exciting beginning to a new stage in my life!

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