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She Wants Sex, He Doesn't

Is it possible to make it work with a sexless guy?

I've already told you why guys who don't want head are a dealbreaker for me, but what about guys who just aren't into sex? Yes, they exist. Anyone who tells you otherwise—that all men are 24/7 sex fiends—is either lying or has just been lucky enough not to meet the kind of guy I'm talking about: the sexless guy.

I've dated several guys who, from what I can tell, have a take it or leave it attitude toward sex, with an emphasis on leaving it. Why, you may ask, did I, someone who writes about sex almost every day, wind up with them? I don't really know, but I did. And the worst part about it is not the physical withdrawal; I'm not the kind of girl who needs to do it every day (though that would be nice).

The worst part is the feeling of rejection that cuts really, really close to home. When I experience that, it's like taking all the fears I have about my attractiveness and boiling them into one pointed barb: you're not pretty/sexy/fun/cool/hot/exciting enough to f**k.

This used to happen a lot with my ex, and I never got used to it. Every time I hoped we'd wind up in the sack, and we didn't, I felt like there was something wrong with me. I wondered how often he did it with his ex; surely, since they lived together, they were getting busy all the time. My jealousy spiked like crazy. I was not only upset at the letdown, but hurt, in part because there is still a tiny part of me that thinks that all a woman has to do is offer and a straight guy will want to hop between her legs. When he doesn't, it must mean she's totally horrified. My rational self knows it's more complex than that, but when you care about someone and are attracted to them, rationality goes out the window.

For the rest of this story, visit The Frisky.

More from The Frisky:
When It Comes To Sexual Partners, We Are Above Average
How To Date A Loser
10 Totally Bizarre Sex Laws
 

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Discussion

Lachie Engaged
Can Relate - Posted July 21, 2009

I am not sure if every girl feels as if she is not good enough or attractive enough...Well some of us are just normal looking which makes us insecure as if we lack something. I too feel the same way, sometimes I always initiate it. It is very frustrating...I am not sure if they are more relaxed and feel comfortable with us that they want to just cuddle with us. Strange but true !

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cheri_cam Married I'm a happy-wife!
Can Relate - Posted June 18, 2009

sexless guys do really exist. But that doesn't mean because you're unattractive woman it's just that there are reasons that somehow your guy isn't into it at that moment. Maybe, stress from work, tired or most likely not in the mood. But believe me, that doesn't mean anything.

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