Cheater or Cheated, What's Worse?

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Cheater or Cheated, What's Worse?

"Once a cheater, always a cheater." Haven't we all heard it before? Some swear by this statement's accuracy, while others do their best to prove it wrong. The truth is, as anyone who has any experience with disloyalty knows, there will always be some gray area.

I have cheated on a few different partners. I have been cheated on only one time that I'm aware of. For me, the guilt has always felt immeasurably worse than that one stabbing betrayal. In fact, at the time when I learned of my partner's unfaithfulness, I actually thought I had to end the relationship because I was so afraid that I would make my partner feel as horrible as my ex had made me feel for cheating on him. Once I realized that I could handle it much better than he had, and that my current s.o. was truly sorry, then I was easily able to move on with our fulfilling relationship. I have to wonder if other "cheaters" feel the same way. And what makes being cheated on feel so horrible? Does it all come down to jealousy? If we weren't innately jealous as human beings, would cheating be irrelevant? Then of course there is the conundrum of how to explain why keeping a hurtful secret from someone you love is so painful. Do we experience that unbearable guilt because we know our s.o would be devastated by our actions? We wouldn't care if we knew they wouldn't be offended by our disloyalty, right? So, again, it all comes back to the jealousy factor. Or ... is it also because we are keeping vital information from the one person we were supposed to be able to tell all our secrets to ... and that makes us feel alone?

There are so many factors leading up to our reasoning for why cheating is wrong. The fact of the matter is that it is wrong. BUT no one should forget that good people can sometimes do things that are ... not so good. There is always a reason behind our actions ... but what it really boils down to is wanting to feel something.

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